Prickles & Goo

Epinephrine. 2,000 ft. 5.9.

2011-06-13T00:11:00.000-05:00

5.9 trad was putting Ryan to sleep, so he inserted a dyno to spice things up. We decided to do this route several weeks ago. Stashed gear the day before, and did the uber early start (wake up at 2:30am). Started the climb at 5:09am.

I think this is me before setting off on penultimate chimney pitch, which i found to be the most challenging. My foot actually slipped while way above the last piece. Would not have been pretty. That was a low point of inattention. Chimneys felt pretty safe although strenuous. Didn't feel the need to place pro and instead relied on the one or two bolts in the middle. Not the most manly approach, since that makes it a "sport" chimney, but burrowing back to place gear looked like a recipe for rope drag. Surprisingly the #4 Camalot came in handy, easily placeable on practically every pitch. Not critical or necessary. Could have done the climb with nothing larger than #3, and single rack. We followed the handren guide advice of single to #4 and double 1-3.

Ryan on the final chimney pitch. The fun ended after that when we got hit with blistering sun heat on top of the Black Tower. I guess that's the price you pay if you climb Red Rock in June. Was nice to have Black Velvet all to ourselves though.

We topped out the climb (final "scramble") at 3:22pm. Sadly my knee acted up and I couldn't bend it by the time we reached the top and signed the register. The 1 hour descent turned into a 4 hour slog, as I hobbled and walked backwards to avoid bending my left knee. We split up and I got lost, ending up on top of some white slabs. We also ran out of water at the top, so it was getting a tad uncomfortable. All in all, a great experience, and relatively casual climbing. Highly recommended.

Wonderstuff 5.12d.

2011-04-05T12:24:00.000-05:00

3 years ago, I first tried this route. Video of attempts here...

Wonderstuff finally went down last week after a concerted effort. I guess my prescience was real after all! Soft and short, but I'll take it… Send was preceded with several weeks of ARC training (endurance), less lumberjack breakfasts, a little better sleep, and the tactic of working backwards from the top of the route instead of a ground up approach (wiring the final moves and linking up). Also snacking on real food (fruits, sandwich) instead of power bars. Not sure if any of that made a difference since I skipped the final bolt on the send, thus turning it into a 3 bolt boulder problem. With the first draw stick clipped, I just realized that I only clipped two draws. I think I subconsciously turned this into a tall V6/7 boulder problem, sort of like High Plains Drifter, but with much higher percentage moves. As with most things, luck was highly involved as the conditions were perfect with the sun warming the rock so it didn't freeze my fingers, while a chilly breeze kept the crimps dry. If you can boulder v5/6 you should get on this route!

Sorry, no video or pics. I've been lazy in that department and experiencing so few successful redpoints, it hasn't been worth it. Plus sport climbing vids are sort of boring without a pro job. Heading off to Flagstaff to boulder/sport this weekend, so perhaps we may yet see some video/pics. I'm a little worried that sport climbing at red rock is poor preparation for the confusing and technical roofs of Priest Draw. Alas! it's too late to do anything training-wise.

Really Sad.

2011-01-12T12:35:00.000-05:00

Three Sad Problems. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

A short 3 min video with Strength in Numbers followed by Professional Widow v4 highball, and then Pow Pow, a guidebook v8 but consensus v7, and probably v6. Shout outs to Randy and Leslie for the camera work, spotting, encouragement, and crashpads.

I think at the 3 min mark you can see I almost slip and fall off the top of Pow Pow after sending. Seems to be a bad habit I picked up in the Gunks, where I routinely slid on pine needles and autumn leaves, falling off the top of boulder problems into talus pits filled with scree and mud.

Also, probably not audible, but on Professional Widow, my left hand started sliding off the penultimate hold; i remember hearing my fingernails scraping the volcanic ash while reaching right for the finishing jug. Randy heard it as well and got pretty worried. Fortunately the music obscures these sordid details of my shoddy rockcraft.

So Sad.

2011-01-10T16:33:00.000-05:00

Sunset over the Sierras as we drove away from the Volcanic Tablelands.

Rio's Crack.: Wow that was desparate thanks to zero feet.

Do anything you can to get to the first sinker crack for your left hand. I used the dangerous huecos on the face as "drive-by" holds. Won't be repeating that anytime soon.

Professional Widow, sort of a highball.

It's tall, but never got too scary because the holds and moves are relatively positive up high. You do have to commit to a two-finger pocket lock off to a one pad crimp, but conditions favored my easily frozen hands because although the rock was cold, the sun shined bright. Also helped that this rarely climbed boulder was not polished by a horde of greasy-pawed climbers. It's also a very photogenic problem for the Sads, as it offers open air instead of the standard scree or boulders right behind you. Not as scary as Jedi Mind Tricks or White Rastafarian.

Pow Pow: Wolverine guide says v8, but v7 if you're honest. So in a rare moment of honesty, I'll have to agree. If Midnight Lightning is v8, then this is definitely easier. In fact, it's easier than Lawnmower Man which is rated v7. So maybe it's a 6/7? Maybe I just did it wrong.

Hot Pants: Why did I waste time and skin on this pebble? A key hold is polished to a shine, and I had to employ a flesh molding ring lock on the starting horizontal crack. Painful, slippery, and short. Like a line of coke, I guess you do it just because it's there. That's what people tell me, at least.

Randy on Strength in Numbers v5. His left hand is on the crux hold.

Strength in Numbers: Best problem in the mid-grades at the Sads imho. If you're there, you must climb it. It's like the Hulk at the Happies. Just like the Hulk there's always a "psyched" crew with humongous mattress-like crash pads protecting the climb, so even though the guide gives it a heart with wings, it's quite safe.

- Rio's Crack v6
- Pop a Wheelie v4
- Professional Widow v4
- Pow Pow v7
- Strength in Numbers v5
x Lawnmower Man v7
x Hot Pants v5

Ju at Ibex.

2011-01-03T00:51:00.000-05:00

"Ju" V6/7 at Ibex from Hoary Marmot on Vimeo.

This was a sweet problem in Ibex, Utah. It's rated v6/7. Definitely one of the more beautiful places to boulder. Plus you're guaranteed to be alone, which is nice if that's what you're into. Thanks to Ranimal and J for the hd camera work. This boulder is ideal because you can pull a car right up to it, making the approach all of 2 feet.

Atari et al.

2010-12-30T08:34:00.002-05:00

Bishop Bouldering X-mas 2010 from Hoary Marmot on Vimeo.

Back to Bishop.

2010-12-30T00:21:00.000-05:00

Nothing ground breaking occurred besides some surprisingly good sushi at Yamatani. But all my dabbling in sport climbing has increased my stamina so i can do more boulder problems in a day. Definitely peaked on Day 2 and shouldn't have climbed Day 3. Skin is now gone. Best send of this trip was probably Atari v6. It's a little bit of a headjob because it looks like you'll go careening off the cliff if you blow the crux. In fact, it looks to be relatively safe because all three of us that tried it tended to fall straight down to the pads. I also really liked Rene v5. It was tall and I did it without spotters because I was alone on Day 1. But relatively safe with a nice flat landing.

Day 2. Randy on The Clapper v6. Nice line with interesting movement. Guidebook says v6, rockclimbing dot com description says v4+. My grasp on bouldering grades is now utterly muddled. I propose a 2 dimensional model: on the x axis is a scale from Fun to Not Fun. And the y axis is a scale from Easy to Hard. This allows for four quadrants. I would always try to climb Fun and Easy or Fun and Hard.

Ryan checking out the one move wonder that is Will's Arete v5. But what a move!

Randy and Leslie at the Sads. I am so mad at myself for never having visited before. I found the problems to be more inspiring than the Happies. Next time, just going to the Sads.

Tighter is righter, right?

Why no Buttermilks? Well I tried on Day 1, but almost got my 4runner stuck in 2 feet of snow about a quarter mile from the Peabodys.

Day 1 - Happies
- Dirty Hooker v1
- Sidepull Problem v5
- Crack Problem v3
- Pinch Problem v4
- Rene v5
- Mr. Happy v5

Day 2 - Happies
- Atari v6
- The Clapper v6
- The Hulk v6
- Will's Arete v5
- Mr. Witty v6
x Every Color you Are v6

Day 3 - Sads
- Molly Dyno v? v4?
x Molly v5
x Strength in Numbers v5
x Lawnmower Man v7

x = no send

Resolution Arete. 5.11+ A1.

2010-11-12T13:00:00.000-05:00

Day 0. An exploratory day to stash gear at the base of the climb. Ben scopes out Mt. Wilson from the Oak Creek pullout. The route we're eyeing is Resolution Arete on the left side. It's 20 pitches long and 2,500 ft. tall. Maybe the longest route at Red Rock. No fixed anchors. Sort of committing, especially if you are not familiar with descent options (like Inti Watana to the right or Sherwood Forest to the left.) We were not familiar with either, so we were committed. We spent Saturday scoping out the approach and stashing gear/water for Sunday. So glad we did because there's a very long, thorny, and steep scramble to the base of the first pitch.

Day 1 (first day of climbing). Despite finding the approach trail with cairns, we still got lost the next day. Showed up at 3am for the 2 hour uphill slog. At sunrise we arrive at our stashed gear from the day before.

Above, sunrise on first pitch of Resolution.

Ben scopes out his next lead.

We are forced to bivy above Sherwood forest after 10 pitches, including the crux 5.11+ pitch. Neither of us could free it. Plus I got stuck trying to clean it because of rope shenanigans, wasting at least 45 minutes hanging under the roof.

A $250 patagonia down sweater. It helped out a bunch as wind and rain fell upon us periodically throughout the night. The accursed scrub oak and its roots shot holes into my bivy bag so I got pretty wet. Suffice to say, I think I slept for about 10 minutes that night. Discovered that Ben talks in his sleep.

Day 2. (Second day on the wall)... Sunrise from our bivy notch. It was beautiful despite ominous clouds and moisture. Later it would briefly snow and hail on us.

8 hours later, we can de-rope for the summit scramble, described as "5.2, with some 5.8". Hm.

Just 400 ft to the top!

2:20pm, we summit. Ben on the tippy-top. Highest point in Red Rock.

The summit register is protected by rocks.

Very windy up there. We chose the heinous 3 hour boulder-hopping descent down First Creek Canyon.

Saturday Night Live.

2010-11-03T23:05:00.000-05:00

John Sherman's Stone Crusade book lists this problem in Joshua Tree National Monument (it's not just a park, but a monument!) as "the most kinesthetically pleasing route in the Monument, maybe the country." I might agree.

Ryan on the send:

RD sends SNL. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Me peeling off:

Saturday Night Live attempt. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Me sending:

Toadstool.

2010-11-01T18:58:00.001-05:00

I tried this problem at Kraft on and off for about 3 seasons, and could never decipher the darn thing. Spent 2 seasons trying to lock off an intermediate sloper. I'll blame that harebrained beta on Shawn. When all else fails, dyno. This season, started jumping. Suddenly an easy v4 dyno materialized. Easier than Saturday Night Live at Jtree for sure. I actually hate the ubiquity of "for sure", but it seems to roll off the tongue when spraying about bouldering. Fo sho.

Toadstool. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Kolob.

2010-10-26T20:20:00.000-05:00

Our intreprid guide Randy asks his smartphone device the question on the mind of all sentient beings: "What should I do next?" We are at DeDe's in Cedar City (voted 3rd best restaurant in Utah!) fueling up with some blueberry pancakes. We're on our way to Kolob Canyon in Zion National Park to try a very long sport route called Namaste 5.12a...

A view of the canyon at the beginning of the hike. The morning sunbeams were beautiful and auspicious. We aimed for the very back of the canyon. It took about 45 min to an hour of hiking.

John ascended first... we had an 80M rope, but I think 70 would have sufficed.

Randy getting lowered. You can see the extent of the overhang at the start of the route.

Some shots of me on my flash attempt. It's a long route.

All in all, a magical day. We had the canyon to ourselves the entire time. I would highly recommend a visit if you are passing through because it's so accessible.

Burn food then climb.

2010-10-12T02:23:00.000-05:00

Not too happy with my hamburger. Just tossed the whole shebang into the campfire. I obtained my calories from beer instead.

A v3ish thing at Rock Creek. It's granite with knobs protruding. Very high quality. There is a creek there that requires crossing. It was a little tricky with two dogs. Ice cold water was experienced.

Big Dune.

2010-10-11T10:38:00.000-05:00

Finally decided to check out that "Big Dune" on 95N on the way to Bishop. It's actually sort of intriguing. Above, Othello joins me on an exploratory jaunt. He did not enjoy the hot sand, and promptly retreated back to the shade of the car.

I've never been to the Gobi desert or the Sahara but I figure it's like this multiplied by a gajillion.

P on top.

Tank Boulder.

2010-10-11T10:29:00.000-05:00

After May Lake, making our way to the tank boulder in Tuolumne Meadows. Can't believe I'm walking this far for one lone boulder.

We were stopped by at least three parties on the way past the lake, each inquiring as to the purpose of the crashpads. Next time, instead of explaining, since to most people climbing = Mt. Everest, we might employ "rough butt sex" as the answer. Followed shortly by, "Would like to join us??"

A VB-V0 on the tank boulder. The rock quality is as high as the top out.

One 12b. 12d compton still outta reach.

2010-09-19T21:27:00.000-05:00

On 9/11 i sent my 3rd 12b... then tried Straight Outta Compton 12d, pictured above. Surprisingly made it past the last bolt only to fall a move below the anchors. I hope gods of weather allow me a few more chances at Mt. C this year before it gets too cold...

These photos were taken by Scott visiting from SLC. Thanks Scott!

This hold is my nemesis... so hard to clip off that bugger.

Prior to the first big move. Sadly, now I'm in NYC getting fat in front of a computer while gorging on coffee, pizza, chicken wings, beer. Rinse, repeat.

More projects. Ugh.

2010-09-15T00:04:00.000-05:00

My friend Randy is good enough to wait the gajillion hours it requires for his HD videos to upload to vimeo. Sadly, no sendage leads to more projects. Amazingly enough, the problems are so good, I would actually slog the hour or so to this singular boulder in Tuolumne Meadows. That's saying a lot because when it comes to bouldering, I usually avoid anything longer than 20 minutes from the road, uphill hiking, talus hopping, and top outs covered in lichen or moss (although I think I just described bouldering at the gunks.)

2010-09-13T00:10:00.000-05:00

Bouldering at Rock Creek boulders at the Big Meadow campground. Some V4s. High quality, clean lines. It was getting dark, but after moderate sport at Dike Wall, we were still hungry for more climbing after we returned to our campground.

2010-09-13T00:05:00.000-05:00

Video of Randy, John, and I bouldering at the Tank Boulder by May Lake in Tuolumne Meadows, Yosemite. We all fall of some v5/v6 thing, but Randy repeats a V7. It's a perfect boulder, perfect height, with problems from VB to V7 and above, climbable on every side, with a variety of holds/features. Unbelievable. The gunks sometimes makes me forget how good granite can get.

Il Bucco again.

2010-09-11T11:57:00.000-05:00

Every sunset here is majestic.

The surveillance camera attached to this old church kept its stygian eye on the crowd.

I like this shot John took. It has the feel of a painting. The primitive human structure in the foreground gives it something.

This is me working an 11d/12a. It was 26 meters tall, which added to the excitement.

At the top of the climb. The roof is totally blank.

Heading to Rome...

At Rome.

Monte Faito [sic?]

2010-08-09T19:30:00.000-05:00

Monte Faito. Tallest point in Amalfi. Limestone crags in a pine forest shrouded by fog. We were limited to the roadside crag because the trail to the moderate crag was guarded by hectares of thorn bushes about one story deep. There was also a fiery sword spinning in all directions.

The italians like their saints. They place icons everywhere, especially inside caves and crevices that look like they would make stellar sport climbs.

Here's John messing around an 11d we climbed. They lower drops you into the road and consequently, oncoming traffic. But from what I gathered about italian driving, they are more than prepared for a climber being lowered onto their windshields.

Sorry about the lack of climbing shots, but it was just the two of us... in order to get anything useful in a safe fashion, the climber went in direct and ideally the belay side fashioned a makeshift anchor, but it wasn't always there.

More Italy.

2010-08-09T19:03:00.000-05:00

Day two was a rest day. We went to a private beach that looked upon Naples and Mt. Vesuvius (the volcano that destroyed Pompeii.) We didn't visit Pompeii. I was there to climb and eat and not ponder ruins, which always seem to me to require a very capable, if not hallucinatory imagination to appreciate, since you're looking at mere remnants or traces that signify nothing to the untrained eye.

I also didn't realize the Mediterranean was salt water. My excuse is that i'm american. We hung out with a good friend of John's named Simona, adorable in all regards.

Mediterranean beaches have a tendency towards the sizeable limestone pebbles and rocks instead of sand, which is a take it or leave it kind of thing... I left my chacos on.

John duly noted that the ingenious sun shade design of the orange beach chairs allows you to hide from your enemies. Unless they recognize your farmer's tan and hairy shins.

Amalfi Coast, Italy.

2010-08-09T17:09:00.000-05:00

Decided to check out the limestone crags at the Amalfi Coast in Italy. My friend John had hooked up free housing, so it seemed like a good idea. Here's John at Franco's Pizzeria in Sorrento. Look at all that prosciutto!

Don't let the look frighten you; on second thought, perhaps you should. John is prone to possession. I felt safe in a public place though. If you receive 'the look' from John in private, you are permitted to flee.

Climbing day 1 = Il Buco at Positano, or "The Hole". An impressive limestone (everything was limestone... if you flooded las vegas with sea water up to 7 or 8000 feet and just left the limestone cliffs at Mt. Charleston exposed, then built houses on said cliffs and dumped a gaggle of german and british tourists on to it, along with a millenia of catholicism, and you have the Amalfi coast) cliff running north south. There is a huge hole in the middle about 30 meters tall flanked with deep runnels and lo and behold, sport bolts.
Here's John on a 10c or 10d warmup.

I would advise against a summer visit if you want to climb here. It's a wee bit hot and humid. We called up the guy who wrote the guidebook and he was up in the dolomites when he answered his cellphone. We did not see a single other climber the entire time. In fact, we didn't see hikers either. In fact, most people looked at us like we were martians as we headed up the trail from town.

Here's John messing around in some of the huge limestone runnels.

Anorexic video.

2010-07-01T09:53:00.000-05:00

I am now sorely tempted to purchase an HD camcorder. L started recording after the sit start, so I didn't cheat and skip that part. I would click on the video and go watch it at vimeo.com to see HD quality. I harnessed the power of the pink shirt for this one, a vital trick of the trade Mr. McKenna taught me.

Anorexic. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Anorexic at last.

2010-06-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

Finally sent Anorexic. Randy provided excellent beta, finding a bicycle move that eliminated the cruxy foot cut swing/campus silliness I had previously committed to. With the bicycle, I could statically reach left hand to the undercling above the slopey plate. I think there's video, but it's in Randy's panasonic camcorder trapped in .mts format so it might be awhile before I can post that. Afterwards, we tried Bread Loaf, and Randy was able to send on the final try of the day.

P and Othello at The Pit.

Leslie top roping a 5.11 at The Pit. It was a little hot, and we were running low on water/food. My hapless camelpak busted a leak (second one to do this) while inside my arcteryx miura. I'm about to give up on water bladders as they seem to be nothing but trouble. Got pretty dehydrated in the sun. This may have thwarted my redpoint attempt on Aerial Vermin because my forearm muscles seized up and I couldn't close my hands. Ah well, next time.

Table trick.

2010-06-18T14:16:00.000-05:00

Let's table that. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

My friend Matt explained this to me when it was raining in New Paltz. So I gave it go in my New York office on Wednesday. I think there might be a couple of dabs, including a chair kick. I did get the onsight but table characteristics may play a large role. Plus I'm wearing approach shoes. I think full credit might require dress shoes. At least it wasn't raining, and the air-conditioning had conditions at a cool and dry 73F, no wind.

Thug and Flail.

2010-06-09T12:43:00.000-05:00

The vegas heat has forced us back up to Mt. Charleston. Here's Othello the half-breed whippet sniffing around Compton Cave.

Tinkerbell works Infectious Groove 5.13b. You have to fly like Peter Pan to do this route.

Farther up, another crux...

Unlike bouldering, thugging it out kind of backfires because you aren't done after 5 moves! The crag is called The Hood though, so thugging is implied.

Here's me back in Compton Cave working on Straight outta Compton 5.12d. I'm messing up the moves here, as my left foot should be on the hold by my left hip.

Tinkerbell on the tricky opening moves of Straight outta Compton. The right foot shouldn't cut, but it makes for a good action shot.

Dark Shadows.

2010-05-30T00:44:00.000-05:00

Dark Shadows - Pine Creek (I think)

P1 5.5 John:

The climb starts out above a creek on a very nice slab with thin holds and a couple of bolts. John did exceptionally well.

A wider view of John on P1.
P2 5.5 Glen
P3 5.8 Glen
P4 5.8 Glen

I think this is me on P4.

J at the anchor at end of P4.

While waiting for our turn on this classic route, the first party dropped two cams somewhere during or after P4, in quick succession. One of them was the gold camalot, which bounced and then plunged into the creek at the base of the climb. After the second scream of "Rock!!!" a crew of philly climbers yelled back up, "What the f***??!!" They fished out the camalot and left it for the party who by then decided to back off the upper pitches of Dark Shadows. Here we attempt to use a large branch to fish it out of the ice cold water.

The party that dropped the gear came down, and we told them the cam bounced, implying that we'd never climb on such gear, and they shrugged and said, "Thanks, we'll get it looked at."

P2 was harder than the guidebook's 5.5. I nearly ate it using my approach shoes. P3 is the "money" pitch, and very photogenic. We didn't have doubles for our party of three, so we used two 60m sport ropes (10mm and 10.3mm). Well, I'll never do that again! They were heavy as hell, and not as smooth as real doubles.

On the last rope pull after rapping from P1, the ropes fall into the creek at the base of the climb. You can't avoid it. Everybody with the exception of two old timers spent an inordinate amount of time devising schemes to keep their ropes dry. Best scheme I heard was from Ben who suggested tying a shoe to one end of the rope and throwing it past the creek from the last rap station. The best realistic proposal was to let Dark Shadows be the last climb of the day so your rope could dry overnight.

Exchange of the day ( I think this was on a 5.11 trad climb next to dark shadows)
Climber 1: "I don't know... that looks hard."
Climber 2 on lead reply: "It's ok, I'm strong."

Carriage Path.

2010-05-20T12:43:00.000-05:00

Bouldering with M and E of NJR on a nice carriage path day. Finally sent two classics that had eluded me for years. Here's a video of us trying Gill Egg.

Gill Egg - V4 from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Here's a vid of me on Black Boulder.

Black Boulder - V5 from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Taming of the Crew.

2010-05-18T13:54:00.000-05:00

Bouldering crew, that is.

Scene I. Triple Right, a dank forest dwelling swelling with black flies and mosquitoes.
[Enter King Matt, Lord Mark, Squire Jeff and sundry barons and such from New Jersey.]

King Matt: Use your feet! Push!
[Gym Rat Boulderer struggles, falters. Whimpering.]
King Matt: Do something!
[Gym Rat Boulderer falls.]
King Matt: How's that workin' fer ya??

Mark on a V4 called Captain Blowhard or something. It has surprisingly nice movement, and is even a little long. Atypical for the area. The top out is notorious for creating beached whales.

L on the same.

Here's King Matt leaping towards the downclimb. "Pretty Spry for an old guy," pronounceth the King. One of the young guns from NJR looks on in amazement as a flash of techwick old enough to be his father bounds overhead.

I sent some stuff, but don't know the grades. I think a V4/V5 by the initial warmup slab, then a V2/V3 on the arete with the spiffy undercling which I didn't use, and finally "Gillette" V6 over by Didactic Tactics and Captain Blowhard. All names and grades are open to change; all I know is that it's a long walk and you better bring gallons of DEET.

Dabbawalla.

2010-05-13T11:57:00.000-05:00

The balance has been off. I started leaving the camera at home since I seem to climb more without it. Also when most of your time is bouldering alone or sport climbing with one partner, its tricky to get good shots*. P is a gifted photographer, but when we go out climbing, the results often consist of a couple of butt shots embedded in a slew of cactii closeups. In the meantime, here's a video of my friend Tim (the Dabbawalla) sending Caliman V7 at Kraft Boulders. It's better than the one of myself because you can see the overhang better. Note JB's action with the pads to avoid the dabbage.

Tim on Caliman V7 from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

*However, this might be a good excuse to purchase a new comfier harness that I can spend extended amounts of time in to obtain good sport climbing shots.

Monkeys.

2010-03-09T23:16:00.000-05:00

Not sure why people need such large tick-marks, especially in the form of a smiley face, when the hold itself is already saturated with chalk. The above photo was from Monkey Bars boulder in Kraft. C'mon! If you find yourself needing a tick mark visible from 30 feet away, wouldn't it be better to just apply climbing tape? Go ahead and apply a huge strip of lime green tape to the hold. Then, when you're done with your fluorescent aided sendage, at least you can remove the tape from the boulder and leave it as you found it. Could it be that people try so hard they can't see the holds unless it's dramatically marked, or is it gym rats transporting the gym to the outdoors?

Anywho, list of week's problems sent:

Wed - Red Springs
Monkey Wrench - V6
St. Louis - V4 (repeat)
It's On - V4 (repeat)

Thurs - Kraft
Monkey Traverse - V7

Sat - Kraft
Monkey Direct - V8
Slopey Traverse - V6 (repeat)

I am unsure of the grades and probably got lucky with good conditions and positively psyched partners. Sorry no pix or vids b/c i only had one spotter, and sends were usually in poor light right around sunset. Monkey Direct is my first "v8" but word is that it's soft. Since I can't do v4 in the gunks or jtree, probably best to consider everything i've ever sent as V3. Either that or I have an affinity for boulder problems that contain the word "monkey".

John's first time.

2010-03-09T22:46:00.000-05:00

"Show me the boulders!"...

"Show me the chicken pot pie!"

"Show me the Bowling Pin (V4)!"

P's two dawgs.

"I am the king! Follow me!"

Bishop.

2010-02-16T22:03:00.008-05:00

For President's Day weekend, Stanley,

JB & Othello,
P,
and I went to one of the bestest places on the planet: Bishop.

The first night we stayed in a poisonous hotel:

The trip went like this:

Day 1:

Sent the Hulk at the Happy Boulders. I first copied what everybody else was doing (as always) and just worked the crux move a couple of times. It really is all about the toe hook. I was thinking about how to set a similar problem in the gym and concluded that the angles involved would make it quite difficult. Here's JB spotting me and adroitly helping me avoid a "dab".

After dinner, we get lost on the way to some god-forsaken hot spring and get the car stuck in a pond. 2 highway patrol officers, 2 hours standing in the cold, and a $225 tow truck bill later, we are back in the hotel getting wasted to forget the entire ordeal ever even happened.

Day 2:

Morning espressos at Black Sheep. Don't do it! Their "double" espresso was a more like a single droplet of sour tasting foulness. The bookstore in front is pretty cool though. Then speed over to the Buttermilks which was a zoo, albeit a nice, tame, quiet zoo. No boomboxes, crying babies, or worse, those portable speakers attached to them ipod doohickeys all the youngsters have playing trance or some other silly genre of popular music.

After sending the Bowling Pin, I get schooled on High Plains Drifter. The snow patch in the pix below was melting in the sun, and water was dripping down onto some of the holds. It didn't matter though. It just felt damn hard.

Reaching for sidepull.

Gaining the sloper... is this the "drifter" move? I can't figure it out.
Another attempt to grab the sloper.
Then proceed to Las Palmas for margaritas and beer, the same place that nearly killed P via dirty vegetable burrito bomb several years ago.

Day 3

Race back to the Buttermilks to bag High Plains Drifter before the hotel checkout. While there, I untethered Othello and he ran off, thereby making me "that guy", better known as the douchebag that lets his dog run amok at a climbing area. While Othello was gone, I got to the first jug at the top of HPD and floundered, popping off like a confused fish out of water. I ended up kicking my spotter JB in the face and possibly breaking his nose and lip. Othello then decides to show up, so I tie his ass up, meditate, and then send HPD. It's a beautiful problem on great holds.

Results:

Sends:
Hulk v6

Bowling pin v4

Buttermilk stem SDS v4

High Plains Drifter v7

Fail:

Soul slinger v9

Every color you are v6

Jtree.

2010-01-11T08:43:00.012-05:00

So happy to be in Jtree again.

Driving through the Mojave National Preserve, we encountered the above paragon of american culture: A speed limit sign riddled with bullet holes, replete with interesting sticker. The symbolism could easily fill several pompous essays. I personally just enjoy the sunlight shining through the projectile-induced perforations.

So it was just me and RV "Superrovanova". She recently started climbing indoors in NYC and enjoys bouldering, so why not introduce her to some of the stiffest boulders in the southwest? I mean, I can do a v7 at red rocks or the gunks if I'm lucky, and I can't even do a v0 friction slab at jtree. Anyway, I think it worked. When RV returned to NYC, her outdoor exposure lent her a new perspective on indoor climbing. She immediately ceased being intimidated by phony indoor grades once she realized she was climbing in a totally safe multi-colored foam padded loony bin where all the holds are friendlier than the friendliest that Red Rock has to offer.

RV meets a martian friend of similar stature.

Monzonite granite vs. RV's skin.

Somebody working The Chube V2.

RV on a 5.6 slab by Barker Dam entrance. A group of tourists walked by and exclaimed, "She's not hooked in!"

Slam Dunk V3 in hidden valley. This cost me 5 or 6 attempts, plus a smashed right toe as I idiotically swung my feet into the wall.

Slam Dunk V3. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Caliman - V7

2009-12-24T19:43:00.002-05:00

Caliman - V7 from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

I did this once before about a year ago and couldn't repeat it. Today, I did it twice. I'm not sure it's V7 anymore. I couldn't do V5 in the gunks, so I'm downgrading this in my personal book to V4 max.

Absurd.

2009-12-20T23:07:00.004-05:00

This short video sums up our foray into frozenness. If you go now, this is what you can expect. It's all yours with no crowds. If you happen to see me there, just shoot me and put me out of my misery.

Thick. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Gunks carriage road. 18F.

2009-12-20T18:05:00.015-05:00

Yeah, so M and I were the only ones psychotic enough to boulder outside yesterday. The usually friendly approach from the unusually empty Trapps parking lot was converted into a treacherous ice slide. We slipped and fell a couple times but were protected by eskimo-like layers of clothing and crash pads. At least we didn't have to pay the usual $15 fee since the ranger was not loony enough to leave the comfort of his living room. Of course, for the amount of misery we endured, we should have been paid. Just kidding - being married and working for a paycheck have already killed me so I don't feel a thing. Ok, just kidding again - marriage is a wonderful institution and scratching for your meat is, by most people's definitions, a good thing.

We started with the Lorax V4. I don't know if the hand-jam is off on this contrived piece of scheisse. Knowing the gunks, it probably is. I then tried New Pair of Glasses V7. Hands and toes froze after the first move. I didn't realize that numb toes could actually be worse than numb hands. Masa then did the Gill Pinch roof V4 and I tried White boys and Puerto Ricans V7. Suffice to say, my meager breakfast of a slice of pumpkin pie and an espresso from the Muddy Cup in town was not fueling the success I fantasized about.

We then shifted our focus to the Black Boulder V3. Our frozen asses and diminishing core strength did not help us on what is considered a "classic" on the east coast. Also, the Sportiva Cobras aren't the best heel-hooking hardware, as Matt S confirmed afterwards.

After 6 hours in sub-zero temperatures on overrated boulders, we retired to Bacchus for their overrated beer selection and non-existent service. Matt was right: "Never go there when you're hungry. You will starve to death." (waiting for service).

The highlight of the day, besides not being in a chalk filled gym with nauseating music (except for NJR when Matt plugs his mp3 player in), was finding the Crystal Sword, or "Icecalibur"*. I think it was by Key Hole Crack. There was a frozen waterfall with huge icicles, and we discovered one that perfectly resembled a sword, replete with bulbous handle, hilt, and proportional taper. Yeah, that sounds embarrasingly phallic and i sound like a geek/dork** raised on Luke Skywalker. Sadly, both are true.

After being frozen, bruised, and battered, I drove back to NJ and was greeted by a blizzard white-out. Couldn't get the car up the driveway and had to shovel the 2 feet of snowdrift out of the 20 foot incline at midnight. Why do so many people live in this god-forsaken state? Suffice to say, my neck feels like whiplash and my back and trapezius feel like fifty angry ninjas wailed on them with rusty dung-covered garden tools. My soul and body are now unified.

*Heather L gets credit for that one.

**I always forget the difference.

Slopey traverse again.

2009-11-29T09:31:00.003-05:00

I sent this for the first time last year but have not been able to repeat it since then. So I decided to film myself, thinking I'd learn about my climbing mistakes. Instead I learned about the unconscious gestures that overwhelm me and I grew instantly embarrassed. Talk about narcissistic!

Slopey Traverse V6. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Yellow card:

Stripping
Talking to self
No onsight
Lens flare
Crashpad visible

Red Card:

Dressing (sort of)
Ass-dragger problem
only V6
silly hat + bareback
Filming self

MIA:

Punk rock music soundtrack
Screaming

Additional punishment for Red Card offenders may include, but is not limited to, rear naked chokes, donkey punches, and other forms of humiliation not to be tried at home.

Mr. Choad.

2009-11-25T14:23:00.003-05:00

On the way to the Sunny & Steep crag, we encountered my first Red Rock tarantula. I placed my sunglasses by it for scale. Below is me redpointing Mr. Choad's Wild Ride, a 10 bolt 5.11b that had stymied me on numerous occasions. A small improvement in foot work and taking interminably long rests (there are a couple no hands stances) enabled me to push to the top, albeit still pretty pumped.

Below, Mark seconds the route and cleans it. A lot easier to have the second clean it than to do it while lowering because the route seems to wander left to right.

Mark's reaction to the pumpitude afterwards.

Back to Black Velvet.

2009-11-21T01:15:00.004-05:00

Dream of Wild Turkeys 5.10a.

Here I lead my first 5.9 trad pitch. Good stances, but I started to get tired placing gear. Adding to the stress was that this was 150' long and I was running out of draws and pro. Good fun.

Andrei follows the 5.10a traverse on pitch 3.

Andrei following another 5.10a on pitch 4. It was at this point that I whipped out my daisy chain and inadvertently knocked the left lens out of my glasses. Andrei noticed a transparent piece of plastic plunge past him into the abyss 400 ft down. I ended up with no depth perception. And it was getting dark. Damn. Because of this we had to bail. Of course, the rope got stuck behind a huge flake and Ben had to lead back up to it to free it. Andrei noted that the more difficult the climb the more things started to go wrong.

Icebox Canyon.

2009-11-21T00:55:00.002-05:00

Frigid Air Buttress 940' 5.9+.

Here I am on pitch 5, a large awkward chimney. I was able to get a head jam with my helmet.
Past the chimney and the swing onto the left face, I proceed to higher ground. There was a pretty good 4" cam placement at the top of the chimney.

Andrei leading. Actually not sure if this is a pic from this route. For some reason I can remember bouldering and sport routes down to the foot jibs, but on these traditional multipitch climbs, I seem to be unable to recall all the pitches in detail. I also have a poor memory for my placements. Perhaps this just comes with time. Andrei would tell me that a cam placement was not ideal and point out better positions, but I had a hard time visualizing what he was referring to even though I had just led it!

Ben leads the final 5.9+ pitch, which consists of a beautiful finger crack... I think this photo is of him on the diciest moment, checking a partial swing.

Frogland.

2009-11-12T11:46:00.004-05:00

Andrei leading a chimney. (Oops... this is actually a pitch on Frigid Air Buttress (see more recent post for details on that. I also forgot to mention at the top of Frogland, we ran into Bill Ramsey and a professor friend of his that was 77 yrs old (!) and climbing 5.8. Truly inspiring. I would also add that Frogland is uber popular, and there were at least 3 parties behind us. So if you go on a weekend either get there super early or avoid it.)
I don't know how the helmet got there.
I think this was 5.7 or 5.8 ... 6 or 7 pitches. My trad mentors Ben and Andrei showed up from NJ and took me on some delightful classics. Pictures above are from Frogland in Black Velvet Canyon.

Single Right.

2009-10-30T18:08:00.003-05:00

Short-ish.
Sharp-ish.
Tall-ish. V1-2ish.
Matt-ish.
Dyno-ish.

Conglomeration.

2009-10-27T11:56:00.007-05:00

09/25/09 -- Montserrat...
Conglomerate...
Breathtaking. Less than an hour outside the city. Free. No people. No garbage, very little graffiti. Our route was named Fragel Rock. The approach was 45 degree uphill slog (1 hr+?) requiring fixed ropes in some places. 7 pitches of bolted sport. But the route wanders quite drastically, so we used twin ropes.
Last two pitches are 5.10d then 5.11b. Imagine a full body massage given by a grizzly bear in a bad mood. That's what I felt like afterwards.
That was before the descent. The descent is an maybe an hour of steepness that also required fixed ropes, and left my legs feeling like rodney king.
At the top there was helipad.
I could have used a chopper at that moment to fly me back to the car.

Barcelona.

2009-10-23T00:34:00.009-05:00

Sorry for the uber-belated post. Work+climb=no time.

09-24-09 arrived in BCN today. Went with Fernando and Otso and Uma to get chorizo bocadillo and cafe. Then to La Fuixarda to climb. It's an interesting locale, and I immediately started to understand why europeans climb stronger than americans.

Looks like a tunnel next to a rugby stadium...

But suddenly, it's a free outdoor climbing gym, replete with huge traverses and overhanging sport climbing!

Outside the tunnel, it's blast rock (still pretty decent) with the 5 meters being cement with drilled pocket holds. Just like Mt. Charleston.

I led/tried to onsight the following:
5.10 - tunnel
5.10 - tunnel
outside tunnel on walls that are half artificial:
5.11ish - one foot slip on humid slab ... otherwise no problem.
5.11d / 12a - almost flashed.
5.11ish - onsight
5.10 - setup tr for some kids that couldn't make it to the anchor.

Lost City again.

2009-09-22T22:43:00.004-05:00

I'm ambivalent on the anti-guide stance of the locals. Everybody and their brother knows about the place. I guess I don't really care since I have a local to climb with.

Warmup on the magnum boulder. I got a yellow card for burning a beginner on the slab. Apparently "burning" somebody means walking up to something that people are working on and hiking it. It's poor form and betrays a petty ego stroke. Don't burn people - unless they're your friends, in which case feel free to burn away.

Below Theresa on one of the v1s on the back of the Magnum boulder.

Learned about some new problems, but can't remember all the names.
Hungarian traverse v2
something around the left of the hungarian traverse - v2
boulder next to magnum - v4
boulder next to magnum - v6 - couldn't do it.
Matt's v7/8/9 project which is on an orange arete reminiscent of tigerstyle. couldn't do that. did ok on the beginning.
Cagefighter - v6 - couldn't do opening move, but could do all the other moves to the top out. Matt is able to waltz the start which I couldn't fathom. Fur and gristle outperform springy reach.. usually does.
Then we watched Zach D try Thumb War v10.
I didn't even touch that one... looked very painful. But complaining about the pain and the landings at the gunks is considered poor form by some. It's sharp conglomerate, like sticking your hands inside a pitbull's mouth, and you're landing on sharp talus, and wading through poison ivy, spiders, mosquitoes, fat millipedes, snakes, and possibly ticks. Not to mention other desperate tri-state area boulderers. Aside from that, problems actually have pretty good movement and can be technical, which I enjoy. I was a little shaky today due to lack of food and sleep and an abundance of beer and sake the night before. If you're going climbing, don't do that to yourself. Trust me.

Fried anorexic chicken.

2009-09-12T19:56:00.004-05:00

Before setting out for Flagstaff, we got food for the road at Albertson's. The proper way to eat fried chicken from Albertson's Supermarket:
1. Purchase fried chicken 4 for 3 deal. Get stuff with bones in it like wings, legs, or thighs.
2. Enjoy savory fried chicken while seated in moving vehicle.
3. Chicken bones magically disappear via window to feed mold, ants, and crows.
Above, John warms up on the Triangle boulder.

Anorexic thwarted me yet again, although I made significant progress. This time I was able to check the foot cut at the crux, and even made it to the exciting heel over the head hook at the top. I just need a little more endurance/core, more precise foot work, more focus, and a good night's sleep. In short, I need more everything. I am convinced the insomnia is holding me back a full v-grade. Wait, that's wus-talk. V6 isn't that hard.

Anorexic attempts. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Right before leaving, we hit some moderate sport at the Pit, which is a pretty stellar little crag. I feel the limestone on the faces is of a higher quality than Charleston, and the approach is a mere 10 minute hike on an easy trail. Not too crowded either. Tried the Joker 5.12d, but couldn't put it together, especially after an entire day of bouldering. Got to the 4th or 5th bolt before throwing in the towel.

Upon arriving back in vegas, a paella dinner prepared by P awaited us. Met somebody with a unique name too: "'Rainy' ... like the weather", he said. Now that I think about it, it's a pretty cool name.

non sequitur

2009-09-04T17:42:00.003-05:00

My friend Matt has impeccable taste in human sized rabbits. Wait, that came out wrong. My Adirondacks bouldering trip was rained out by Hurricane Danny, in a rather normal stroke for northeast summer weather (i.e. rain every weekend and sunny w/o warning during the work week when I'm trapped in deafening air conditioning and wage labor.) Going to Flagstaff tomorrow... I hope to shed the albatross of rain and send Anorexic.

Raku - P birthday

2009-08-24T22:21:00.002-05:00

Amazing dishes, each one a visual and flavorful masterpiece. It's my favorite place in Vegas. Bouchon is amazing but I personally prefer the raku style of numerous small and varied dishes, reminiscent of spanish tapas.
This cold appetizer was ridunculous! Several of my favorite things all together: a poached egg, salmon roe (ikura), and sea urchin (uni). Ovum, sperm, gonads. Of course it's delicious. At $7 it's definitely a bargain.

Matt's woody.

2009-08-24T22:01:00.003-05:00

Checked out Matt's woody (no, not that one)... for lack of a title/brand, I'm dubbing it "The Classroom" because you go there to... - wait for it - to get schooled. Horrible joke, but it sort of works since Matt is a teacher. A friend of his was able to drill real rock holds which provided an interesting experience. For one thing, the real rock holds were much cooler to the touch temperature-wise than the plastic holds. I don't know how it's possible but there's definitely a difference when grabbing a piece of real rock. There are close-ups of the real rock holds at his website. Maybe there's a difference because there's a liminal amount of flex and give in the plastic holds that doesn't happen with stone.
A dyno. I know it's not really climbing, but I can't help it.

Magnum area.

2009-07-30T21:24:00.005-05:00

Sunday my old crew visited the magnum area in the gunks for some conglomerate bouldering. Warmed up on some zeros on the back side of the Magnum boulder. Above is a tallish slab. Hope those crystals don't break under the weight of your toes.

V5 Resurrection - sent. Very nice movement here with varied holds. The best part is the bump to crimp with your left toe naturally latching a toehook without you having to think about it. I know - talking about a cool move with no accompanying photo is totally rookie. Sorry about that.

V7 Poo-pah - couldn't get the go go gadget extension to the pinch. A move that Mark somehow made look easy. According to him it required a tension in the left oblique and a counterintuitive twist, and some "P90X" workouts (apparently they are good for a beach-body AND climbing Poo-pah). My mind-body could not mimic the thusly communicated concept. The V8 topout on the second ledge looks exhilirating but the talus filled landing and dearth of paddage was mildly discouraging.
Small note on the etymology of "poo-pah": I hear the individual that named this problem was hanging around some prostitutes somewhere in Queens (a perfectly respectable activity) and one of them referred to another as a "puta", which is spanish for prostitute. However, since this boulderer did not know spanish, he heard it as "Poo-pah", which must have made an impression on him since he decided to name a boulder problem after the word. Anyway, from what I saw, Resurrection and Poo-pah were the best of the area in that grade range. Although next time I want to try the overhanging boulder by Resurrection with the heinous sloping topout where all the v9 or v10s lay. There's also the arete/prow facing Resurrection ("Henry's Arete") which is apparently much harder than it looks at V8, and has been known to pop unprepped tendons. Needless to say, we left that guy alone. We concluded the day by flailing on the v5 "Old Gringo" on the front of the magnum boulder, all the while succumbing to poor technique, greasy holds and battalions of mosquitos.

Safari.

2009-07-06T01:05:00.004-05:00

Ibex! Oryx! Siberian tigers! Giraffe!
Here I take the "Out of Africa" tour guide's recommendation and feed the giraffe with a carrot held in my mouth. The dextrous tongue still licked me though.
Back in Flagstaff for dinner, Pilar noticed that practically every establishment in town is "voted the best [fill in the blank] of Flagstaff!" But it's such a small town, there's only one of each anyway. Of course you're the best if you're the only one. Trying to get past the self-promoting best-of buzz, I found a website called http://www.hottieandthefatso.com/ (kudos for that title). They are two flagstaff locals that rate restaurants. I enjoyed their reviews, as they were straightforward and honest. At any rate, they said the best restaurant was a german restaurant called the Matterhorn. Intrigued, we went. It was excellent. How can you go wrong with a pork chop, a fried egg, and anchovies? (answer: you can't). Guess I shoulda taken the photo before chomping on the potato pancake.
The Optimator on tap was quality; it was like thomas hardy without the super thick caramel aftertaste.
Returning to the hotel with nothing to do, we drank and blew bubbles.

4 hours to Flagstaff.

2009-07-06T00:23:00.006-05:00

What can I say? I love Priest Draw... probably because when it comes to bouldering I love everything I suck at (slopers, horizontal roofs, toe hooks, etc.) The four hour drive from Vegas is sort of boring. Luckily Pilar volunteered to drive the entire Route 40 stretch. Lots of cops with their fancy 2 inch sirens that are hard to spot. Four hours and two turkey sandwiches later, we finally arrived at "the draw". I started warming up on some zeros and ones. And then the thunderstorm started. Noooo! Pilar and I fled to the Bat Roof to wait it out and struggle with despair. Well at least I despaired, because I wanted to try Anorexic again, and the top out would now be wet and slippery.

But it didn't matter because I didn't get it. Stymied by the crux foot cut, my screams from trying to hold the foot cut echoed through the draw for a good second. Undaunted by my fledgling core strength and terrible campus abilities, I hurled myself at it from the start over and over again. I can't figure out how people (shorter women?) put a left heel hook into the starting hold. It looks super positive that way, but I just can't get my foot in that shit.

Afterwards, we went into town and had so-so tacos at locos tacos or tacos locos or something like that. I fucked up and ordered a "Grand Canyon raspberry wheat beer." What the fuck was I thinking? Then Pilar ordered what tasted like an alcohol free margarita. In fact, it had such a paltry effect on the spaniard, she promptly drove to an Albertson's supermarket, purchased a bottle of Freixenet champagne, and started swigging directly from the bottle in what she termed was an effort to "get totally fucked up."

The decider?

2009-06-04T22:32:00.006-05:00

We finally convinced Shawn to visit Robbers' Roost at Mt. Charleston. In true SM fashion, he immediately eyed the hardest stuff and said, "I wanna do that." Or maybe it was more of a pointing gesture followed by, "That. Me climb. Hard." I just realized his initials also stand for sado-masochism. Huh. So we set up basecamp with all new and shiny products: rei lawn chair, new stick clip, even a Bose speaker for the ipod.

Here's SM on Contortionist Corner 5.12c. It's an overhanging dihedral that's a little heady because you could encounter some limestone if you blow a clip. He's screaming because he's attempting to get finger jam or stack into an overhanging pocket.

Contortionist Corner 5.12c from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

I like JB's shot because it accurately depicts the steepness. I was able to hangdog through it, but it cost me as my tricep became so exercised at the end, it wouldn't stop twitching until 3am that evening. I wish I knew the biochemistry behind that, as it's probably lack of something like potassium or magnesium or sodium. I foolishly thought my quadruple espresso from Starbux would tide me over. Speaking of JB, he did a marvelous job on an 11b or c on the opposite wall although sadly no footage. And that despite the bright Bufon soccer jersey!

We also attempted America's Most Wanted 5.13c. SM hangdogged through to the chains, but I was pretty much shut down from the opening moves. Steep limestone roof technique took a raincheck on me that day. I like this photo by JB, but it would be easier on my ego if I wasn't pusillanimously clutching the chain with my right hand! The severe overhang combined with a tad of dehydration had my abs cramping up in no time.
Below, superboy gazes into the empty space that awaits.

Vol de Nuit.

2009-05-18T22:48:00.004-05:00

Based upon Shawn’s worldly suggestion, I convinced some coworkers to visit this hip bar in the west village. They had belgian ales on tap and a great selection in bottled format. I myself quite enjoyed the Orval. The bartenders however were slow and unfriendly- I think it’s my blue Northface backpack. Man, walk into a trendy bar with one of those on and with a silly nalgene hanging off of it and you are the epitomy of uncool. Don’t do it. Leave it to professional uncool and awkward people like myself. Then, my friend Jane witnessed a four inch cockroach in the wc which basically ended any future visits. I nervously entered the wc afterwards fully expecting an arthropod the size of my hand to skitter up one of my pant legs and leave me in the madhouse rocking in a corner. Instead, I stumbled upon some amusing graffiti, which I have arranged for you below in ascending order of philosophical importance.

We start off with a quote by Baudrillard... something about the "desert of the real." I have no clue what he meant by this, but I think it was used in the Matrix, so it must be important.

Onward to onanism... it's almost dialectical. We start off with self pleasuring, evolve to mutual, and end with total rejection. Good stuff.
"Bush is Satan." Now that's deep.
"Yup... another turd.." Can't argue with or mock that one. Must be a universal truth.

Wonderstuff failed attempts.

2009-05-13T08:27:00.002-05:00

Here's a video Shawn made of me on wonderstuff 5.12d. It's supposed to be soft for 12d, but it's still relatively unfathomable for me at this point. I think this one is going to require some, gulp, training. Don't know if I will, or what that would entail. Cardio? Less bacon on the weekends? Meditation? Too bad it's now a bajillion degrees in Vegas, so I might have to wait until autumn for a good try again. Back to Mt. Charleston for some drilled limestone pockets...

Wonderstuff attempts. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Fear This Sport.

2009-05-10T14:18:00.003-05:00

Video of me falling off the first bouldery crux of Fear this Sport 5.12b at Cannibal Crag. I later discovered a knee bar but it's still quite difficult for me. If anybody out there has good beta, I'll take it. After falling, there is an impromptu moment of passion. Hey, it happens.

Triple Right.

2009-04-23T22:03:00.006-05:00

Matt was kind enough to introduce Masa, Satoshi, and me to this “new” area. New to us at least. It was recently featured in Rock & Ice and bigupproductions’ Tis the Season. Anywho, it’s quality rock, kinda tall, with flat landings. When we arrived we encountered a dozen or so friendly cadets from the West Point rock climbing club. We climbed with them a little while before moving on. Below Linda works a V4. Unusual for this area (gunks) to find a nice overhanging moderate with friendly holds and good movement.

As we meandered along this edge of the Mohonk Preserve, bright green plant life was bursting through the carpet of dried leaves. Masa said that in Japan they fry these plants in tempura. Next time we’ll have to add tempura mix and a frying pan to our bouldering gear.

Below, Satoshi 6'+, Matt 5'6", and Masa 5'10" warm up on something, maybe a V1 or V2.

Masa on the crux of a pretty neat V4 slab.
Below, Nicholas Cage on the V7.

V7 (redpoint) … Masa really worked this one. He bled for it. Masa just can’t keep his blood to himself.
The black flies and mosquitos love his blood as well. He’s better than bug spray. Just stand next to him, and all the airborne bloodsuckers flock to him leaving you unscathed. Must be something he eats. Of course the V7 was right above a pool of stagnant water filled with mosquito larvae. Matt sent on his 2^nd try. Unfortunately I didn’t get video of the send. I only got his pre-send slip-up followed by his patented rapid fire cussing.

V8 failure … This was my favorite problem of the day. Naturally- because I couldn’t do any of the moves. But it appeared to require a decent amount of core tension. There’s a cool undercling move on a sliver of granite that looks transparent and ready to snap off with no warning. Somebody better not break that off before I get on it again.

V5 (redpoint) … Masa uses the calf hook. When the heel just isn’t enough.

At the end of the day Eric’s girlfriend showed up. She’s super strong. They have a gigantic Nemo chalkbag. What’s Nemo up to?

34 point bouldering day and I’m not sore… plus I never send above V5 away from home. Although I’m in NYC/NJ so frequently it doesn’t feel like a road trip. I mean I know every inch of the NY thruway from NJ to New Paltz. It almost feels like home. Did my cocktail of bacon, eggs, pancakes, double espressos, creatine, and sudafed work? I would be tempted instead to downgrade everything by 3 but then MS might piledrive me…

See Spot Run.

2009-04-23T10:25:00.001-05:00

Another belated Hueco sequence of Satoshi sending See Spot Run V6.

Kelly Canyon.

2009-04-07T21:28:00.005-05:00

Donkey Punch V6 (at the end of the video)... I just punked out on the sandy dirtiness. My friend Tim suggested a brush, maybe even a broom. Man was he right. I think spade, trowel, and high pressure water hose would have been more like it. Yeah, that and uh, some climbing ability. Nonetheless, a beautiful line with fluid and rewarding movement. The setup for the crux is a thing of beauty with a flag to make the holds positive and then a deadpoint to a decent crimp. Just to give credit where credit's due, the flag beta was Matt's idea. Well, that's the first crux. I think the top out is the real crux. I'll need to suss that out next time for the send.

Then I lost a bet on a deceptively heinous V6 slab: Either I send V6 in 6 tries, or else 6-pack for Matt. A satanic bet. I lost. Matt is triumphant with his Dos Equis (last seconds of video.)

Dope Lounge V4 - couldn't yank after blowing my load on Donkey Punch and the slab. In fact I fell on Dope Lounge from the triangle sloper and twisted my friggin ankle. Arrg. Mental note: don't do tall stuff when you're tired. Plus: make sure your crashpad isn't going to slide when you hit it. Double plus: Try harder.

Props to Matt and Jay for their tremendous spotting, which saved my ass at least a dozen times that day.

Priest Draw.

2009-04-05T01:32:00.004-05:00

Things I've learned about Flagstaff AZ.
1. it's cold. At elevation, it's 60s in Vegas, but this morning in Flagstaff it was in the 20s. Bring a down jacket in beginning of April. Apparently even in the summer, it only reaches up to 80.

2. It's a "dark" town because of an observatory. There are no street lights and parking lots have no lights. With my tinted windows at night I couldn't see shite.

3. A blizzard came through right before I moseyed into town on I-40. The snow is apparently able to stick to vertical highway signs so you can't read them. That combined with Flagstaff being a dark town, I kept searching the night horizon for the pink glow from an urban center (Vegas is visible from 100 miles away) but could find none.

4. There's a truckload of bouldering right outside of town. Priest Draw is approximately 8 miles away with well traveled trail approaches that are flat and easy. A lazy boulderer's (I know that's redundant) dream!

Ran into a couple kids who are students at NAU who took happened to be on a Hueco tour of the West Mountain with my friends and I back in January. Amazing how small the climbing world is. Here we warm up on some boulder where every hold is a jug.
Below I do some V5 called Whip and Cross or something like that.
Afterwards, we head to home depot to get a brush and extend-o stick to brush holds at Kelly Canyon. Jay and Matt react humorously to an asian wielding a camera in home depot.
Dinner... we had no pepper, so I used chili paste on a new york steak. Matt's skirt steak makes a guest appearance.

A meager day...

Triangle Boulder
V0 - flash
V3 - flash

Bat Roof
V3 Bat roof - flash
V1 fin thing - flash

Killer Wall
V1 - flash
V2 - flash
V5 whip and cross 2nd try and then repeated for camera. (2nd time was supposed to be staged for camera, but decided to do finish it anyway.) Soft for 5 but who cares.

Wife Beater V7... I couldn't get past sloper (2nd move). Matt was able to match on sloper due to his abundance of fur and gristle but chickened out before the huck- with good reason since we only had two medium sized pads and it was a stepped landing.

Anorexix V6 - failure. Couldn't get past the frickin first roof. My toe hooking sucks. All the moves are totally doable tho. I did the climb easily from after the initial roof. Definitely will go, just need to perfect the foot beta in the beginning since I don't have fingers of steel. In fact, none of my anatomy consists of steel. Tomorrow the plan is to go with Matt and Jay to kelly canyon for some sandstone bouldering. I'm secretly hoping it's closed so I'll have another espresso fueled chance on Anorexic...

Two finger lock off.

2009-04-03T00:41:00.002-05:00

SM demonstrates some two finger lock off power. On first hard part of Monster Skank. I couldn't do this move, although now I see he sort of did a jump. I was trying a more static method. Next time, Monster Skank!

Front Corridor.

2009-04-02T23:54:00.005-05:00

Without any prior overt communication, all sport climbers bend over simultaneously. One of the oddities of sport climbing behavior. Species from left to right: one homo climberus pilotus, two homo climberus teacherae (sub-species hubristis.)

Another common behavior observed especially in homo teacherae: Leader warms up fingers by cavorting with belayer's derriere.

The chalking ritual. These creatures believe that chalk contains magical properties that improve their climbing. Note the corduroy pink sequined chalk bag on left climber exhibiting more bending over behavior. The hind display is employed to ward off potential threats (like photographers.)
Entering the first crux on Monster Skank 5.13b (8a).

Raku.

2009-03-19T11:25:00.004-05:00

A superlative dining experience. Here you can see Pilar about to feed her Raku habit. It's worse than coke.

Inside, your bleached chopsticks (the one weakness, but where have you ever not encountered bleached chopsticks?*) are wrapped with a cute logo.

Emily ordered the agedashi tofu, the best I've ever had. It came topped with scallions and ikura. I especially liked the tongue-shaped dab of spicy sauce on the lip of the bowl.

Pilar went for the grilled mackerel. It's deboned so you can rip right into the bubbled flesh like the vulture you are. Comes with a shredded turnip or radish, I forget which, but the waitress recommended adding some soy sauce to the white stuff and it was delicioso.

No dessert because I had to cut out to catch a redeye flight to the east coast.

*Now that I think about it, a Korean places do offer metal chopsticks, which is pretty cool. That way, if somebody tries to poison me, I'll know because the metal will change color if it touches poison. That's the origin of metal chopsticks. OK, I made that up.

I got nothin.

2009-03-15T21:33:00.004-05:00

I want to report climbing on Thursday with SM at the Front Corridor in the Sandstone Quarry.
Tried Monster Skank 5.13b and Sunsplash 5.13b. Got bitch slapped on both.
We only made to the 3rd or 4th bolt on either route. Sunsplash I strongly suspect is a drilled route. It looks blank from the ground and utterly impossible, but when you get on it, suddenly you're sinking up to your second knuckle into deep two-finger pockets. I've been on drilled routes elsewhere and it was a similar feeling. Despite the apparent manufacturing, it was a lot of fun with good movement, and SM said it reminded him of The Equalizer 5.13a at Charleston.

While ascending Sunsplash, SM ripped a gaseous cloud of noxiousness over my belaying head. I nearly passed out and almost let go of the rope. Fortunately the gri-gri would have saved him if I were to have passed out. It must have been a relaxation of the rectal sphincter due to blood sugar redirection to the parts of his body straining to stay on the wall. Completely understandable. I believe this happens to runners when they shit themselves during a marathon. I've witnessed this also when boulderers try really really hard on a move. I guess if you squeeze in one place, you must relax another. Since your ass is not holding the rock, your body must say, "OK, you can relax" and then the squeeze fart occurs. There must be a word for this. Taking a cue from shart, might I propose "squart"?

In order to atone for lack of photos (it's hard with two people... it seems at least three is required for climbing photography/video) I'm posting some stuff from the end of the Hueco trip where we lost our minds from too much volcanic porphyry, tamales, and caffeine.

I don't know how M convinced us to do this...
My favorite picture of the trip...
Random photo of one of my coworkers as we wandered around Madison Avenue in search of ramen noodles.

Black Corridor... so crowded.

2009-03-15T10:10:00.002-05:00

Shawn successfully toproped Texas Lite Sweet 5.11b. I needed a couple tries to get the crux. It's a steep slab with tiny holds. At the crux Shawn uses a hold that's barely in existence. After spending way too much time discussing whether it's 5.11b or not, in hindsight, I could see it since it's a slab. I mean, 5.11b slab is bound to be frickin hard for techniqueless gym monkey boulderers. The odd part is the way it's bolted... it doesn't seem to correspond to the route. So we're not totally sure how Texas Lite Sweet was originally designed. In any case, neither of us has ever seen chalk on the line that goes straight to the chains. Now there is. That sounds like a boast, but I actually regret leaving traces there. It would be much cooler to do it and leave not one molecule of magnesium carbonate on the sandstone.

From the numinous to the tenebrous.

2009-03-02T00:07:00.003-05:00

This reprobate weather cancelled my flight back to Vegas. Feeling lugubrious in NJ, which is how you are supposed to feel in NJ, I cobbled together this video which spans from Texas to New York, with the Garden State making an appearance via the midtown Dover express line. The dream of Hueco dissolves into the muddy hues of a northeast wintry mix. The only thing warm out here are my friends, some of whom make brief appearances. OK, enough of this deleterious bathos and pitiful kvetching. At the end of the video we visit Spiderman. Then the night melted into a reddish haze of ramen noodles, hand made gyoza, sapporo, hendrick's gin, and jameson's irish whiskey. Following this immolation of liver and brain, I awoke in new jersey with nothing left but a spleen and some simulacra... there was talk of Obama, neat, blood drinking, guillotines, Kilimanjaro, ganja, bosses, limos, beeotches, shee-its, pussy, puree, Woolloomooloo, spears, nicotine, sleepy eyes, audits, nicotine, slickness, this one's on the house...

T-Bone Shuffle and Manly Stuff.

2009-02-24T00:03:00.006-05:00

Here I try some V6 dyno on the Thunderbird boulder.

Day 5 started auspiciously: Kristoph's bacon croissant + triple espresso + cinnamon raisin bagel! That's a breakfast.

T-bone Shuffle V4 - redpoint This problem was unlocked by Satoshi who decided that the left side pull was on. This unleashed the send train as T-bone was then mercilessly gang-banged by me, Masa, and Yusuke. Mark let it go because he didn't want to risk another flapper.
In the video I almost roundhouse Yusuke in the head after missing the crenellation. Yusuke's Redbull reflexes helped him to duck and block with his arm.

Orifice Affair V1 - An amazing line of huecos, with a decoy hueco to mess you up. Below Takako works it out.
Manly Stuff V4 - We concluded the day on this muther ucker. Again Satoshi unlocked the door to the send train. Mark got it next - he pushed hard, stood tall, pulled it down, whipped out his manly stuff, and came on top. Double entendres all intended. I followed but only by exploiting a most positive hidden razor crimp (sneaky stuff). Big Yusuke almost had the right stuff, but didn't have time to work out alternate beta for his style.

18 point day

Yusuke had 14 point day... if only he sent Manly Stuff. Damn, kid is getting strong!

Hueco day 4.

2009-02-06T22:36:00.006-05:00

In order to visit North Mountain we had to watch the orientation video. That's me in the back sleeping with the sunglasses on. I love the fact that no matter where the camera is, Mark turns to the lens and cracks a smile.

Here we are trying Daily Dick Dose V7 with the silly toe hook drop knee beta. Mark started using the heel hook gaston beta which we later found out is probably easier. None of us got it though. Thanks again to Takako for the photos.

This day sucked so bad I'm not even going to talk about it... I guess Carlsbad wasn't really a rest day for my weak ass since walking 2 miles underground for several hours wasn't exactly the same as lying in bed with a beer and watching cagefighting in your underwear.

Ghetto Simulator V2 - flash
Nobody Gets out alive V2 - failure
See Spot Run V6 - failure
Daily Dick Dose V7 - failure
Babyface V7 - failure
something next to babyface V2 - flash

More of my m.o. ... either flash it or forget it. I guess v6 or v7 is pretty ambitious given the fact that anything I've ever sent at those grades had been worked on for weeks, months, or years. So I shouldn't expect to just show up and send those guys. Sort of sucks though because classics abound in the v6-v7 range.

4 point day... yikes! Clearly out of gas. No amount of caffeine or creatine was going to revive my mitochondria or kick start my Krebs cycle on this day. Starting to wish I never came here because everything else with the exception of Bishop and Font is beginning to look like choss. I'm sure that's a common side-effect of Hueco and I hope it wears off once I depart.

Yusuke climbs into heaven...

Carlsbad Caverns - rest day

2009-02-04T23:35:00.004-05:00

What better for a rest day than a visit to the largest hole in the ground in North America?
On the way to New Mexico we saw these yucca or joshua trees or something like them in bloom with their flowers sprouting out doing their best impression of something you'd find in a Dr. Suess children's book.
We also paused by what looked to be a salt flat. Its apparent whiteness unconvincing, Masa placed a piece in his mouth and exclaimed, "Salty!" We all admired his brave demonstration of the scientific method.
On the descent into the cavern, our resident geologist Mark was very excited. I pretentiously opted not to use the audio accompaniment, as I was not in the mood for recorded chatter while in the presence of nature's miracles. The caverns were so vast they probably could have contained ten thousand sport routes if climbers had discovered it first... I'm kinda glad that didn't happen. Unfortunately the bat show (a zillion bats fly out of the entrance that Mark is approaching above) only occurs between May and October. Right now I guess they're hanging out in Mexico (no pun intended.)
Ansel Adams said these caverns should not exist in relation to man. That's how out of this world they are. Seeing all the formations provided an organic view of geology; rock formations actually are born and die just like living beings. Only, the interval between the life and death of a geological formation is imperceptible to our hyperactive and greedy sense perceptions. We don't even grasp the interval between 75 years of human life and death; so when somebody dies we think it's the end, but it's only the beginning of another life. We are like rocks, just much softer and rocks are like us, just much slower. In climbing, that softness meets the slowness, but everything is moving - just at different rates.
I like the pic below of Takako jumping for joy. It's how I felt being on a bouldering trip for a week with good friends. Yusuke's wide angle seems to have caught Satoshi on a his way to relieve himself by the side of the road. I was going to crop it out but what the hell.

Hueco day 2.

2009-01-26T21:57:00.006-05:00

East Mountain...

Warmup Roof V4 flash.

Below is me trying Warmup Roof V5 variation. No dice as my mind-body was unable to corkscrew properly while coordinating with the core.
Problem of the day for me was Try Harder because it contained all the necessary ingredients for my type of climbing: Big moves between big holds, no crimps, and demanding some power. Sort of like the Pearl at Red Rocks. I think Try Harder is old school also, as our guide Chris said it was put up back in the day by some hard man like John Sherman or something like that. Try Harder and Hobbit in a Blender were the only problems on the whole trip to make me scream my ass off. The primal yell is very satisfying to release. However, not any scream will do... it must be pulled out of you by a very demanding move (mentally or physically, preferably both simultaneously.) In other words you can't intend or plan such a spontaneous act. The problem has to pull it out of you. All you can do is get on the boulder and if it happens it happens. Below is me on Try Harder.
I'd like to extend many thanks to Masa for filming my attempts with his tripod; I wasn't in a filming mood at the time but now I'm very thankful he did it. Also many thanks to Takako, a budding climbing photographer, who took the sequence shots above with Yusuke's DLSR.

Warmup Roof V1 - flash
Warmup Roof V2 - flash
Warmup Roof V4 - flash
Dragonfly V5 - flash
left of hobbit "Ostracizer?" V2 - onsight
Hobbit in a Blender V5 - 2nd or third try
Try Harder V4 - redpoint

23 point day - whoa! I think this is a record for me, and my body definitely let me know it was gonna cost me dearly.

Cattleman's Steakhouse was the reward. I think this may have been the best steak I ever had. I am not a steak connosiuer like Masa though (Masa enjoys steaks in the $100+ range).

Hueco Tanks day 1.

2009-01-25T20:30:00.007-05:00

We visited West Mountain with our guide Cooper. Our group: Yusuke "Snake", his girlfriend Takako, Masa (Totem animal = Killer Whale), Six ft. Satoshi, St. Mark, and me (Totem animal = Flounder.)
Takako doing some yoga on West Mountain.
Me about to flash Body Snatcher V4. More my style; no static moves necessary and very gymnastic.
Killer Whale o.d.'s on peanuts and Amber Bock at the Texas Roadhouse.

Between the Cheeks V4 - redpoint. This was a hard old school problem with a little bit of everything... slopers, pinches, heel hooks, toe hooks, crimps... took a bunch of attempts even with beta from the guide Cooper.
Masa obtained a good deal at a Days Inn in El Paso. I'm rooming with St. Mark, whose good nature is almost contagious. Unbeknownst to him, I was born with a natural resistance to good nature and to cleanliness.

8 point day.

Juarez, Mexico.

2009-01-25T12:34:00.006-05:00

Last Saturday we crossed the Rio Grande by bridge. It was $0.35 to enter Mexico. You drop the exact change into a toll machine and go through a turnstile. It felt like we were about to get on a carnival ride, which wasn't too far from reality. The odd part was that on a Saturday night, we were literally the only non-mexicans on the street and stood out like four sore thumbs. Ipso facto, we were immediately accosted by a squat fellow named "George" who offered up all sorts of illicit products and activities. Ignoring his pablum and not feeling like getting into a bad B-movie, we chose our own place to eat after checking out the local church.

On the way out, we bought some tacos from a street stand. It was far superior to the restaurant. Her stuff was so good locals were buying her sauces in baggies to go.

Sharkwalk.

2009-01-13T00:33:00.002-05:00

Just so the 4 people who read this blog (one of which is me) is clear... Sharkwalk 5.13a (7c+) really is quite overhanging. My previous post made it look like a slab. It's slopey and powerful with a crux at the top. A beautiful route. Below is Mr. Awesome setting for the dyno at the top.
Interestingly enough, Mr. Awesome attacked it the way he trains on the 45 degree wall at the gym- square and powerful with toes pointed at the wall in an almost accusatory fashion. Unlike Mr. Awesome's Ben Moon-informed training style, I resorted to the sneaky sideways approach...
This inspiring route will require some power endurance training on slopey holds, especially since the hardest thing either of us has sent clean is a 5.12. But since Americans are lazy and prefer to get by on talent or any other avenue that avoids discipline, we may instead resort to the tried and true method of ales and onanism or "IRHM" prior to the climb. See the Cody Roth video at momentum climbing (issue#24) for a demonstration of IRHM technique. With any luck a future post will feature Mr. Awesome defeating Sharkwalk with a piledriver, as our climbing escapades evolve into professional wrestling, at least in writing.

Trophy III

2009-01-11T23:03:00.008-05:00

This is a shot that Pilar got of a very cute collie mutt at the Trophy. But moving onwards to climb-based narcissism...
At last! I sent my second 5.12a, which hopefully proves to my buddy Masa that the first one wasn't a total fluke. Keep Your Powder Dry goes at 5.12a (7b) if you stop at the ledge, which I did. My second 5.12a ever. First was Maneater, and for both routes I required 4 shots of espresso in the car ride to the crag. Another thing they both have in common is that they are short, which favors my bouldery side because I have no power endurance. However, since I was pretending to be sport climber, I tried to pace myself by resting whenever possible to avoid a flash pump. At the crux, I dynoed with my right hand instead of the left. Most people go left. To me, the right hand is more like a body twist versus the left hand dyno being practically a campus move off of a poor crimp. There's a pic of me sticking the dyno in a previous post . After the crux, you can gain a kneebar rest that if done properly allows you to fully depump before completing a three moves on flat crimps, which aren't that easy after you're tired.
Above, Shawn lowers off The Trophy 5.12b after working out the moves. He had already sent Keep your Powder Dry so he focused on the Trophy. Shawn cleared all the hurdles today, styling the traverse, modifying the rest, sticking the dyno, and deciphering the topout on the ledge. All that remains is the linkage. He probably just needs a good night's sleep, some good ol' beer and masturbation and it'll be done. His all out dyno attempts cost him some skin though. And now for the overdone pic of wounded climber hands:
For an idea of what Shawn was trying to do and eventually did, see this link. Love the fact that the title of pic in the link is "Brilliant Footwork". I found a different way while shamefully hangdogging on second, which was to match on a bad crimp and go right with different foot positioning. I guess "different" is not the right word here as Shawn's feet were not on the rock whereas mine were... it maybe should read "go right WITH foot positioning." Not as dramatic and glorious as a three points off dyno, but my skin is intact. Part of my shameful hangdogging allowed me to put on a silly show of trying to get back on an overhanging route.
Afterwards, Captain Shawn of the Climbship Burlyprise decided to try Sharkwalk, 5.13a. Despite the horrific pun nauseating the Captain... he nonetheless put forth a valiant effort. Pilar's photo below is of Shawn after the crux dyno (what is it with these dynos?) off of an abominably tiny crimp on an overhang. Somehow the photo makes the route appear like a slab, but it was in actuality quite overhung. I dunno. Maybe 30 or 40 degrees?
But that's when things took a turn for the deadly, almost. Above us, some hooligans started mocking Shawn's screams. This was followed by a shotgun blast. OK, it wasn't a gunshot, but somebody above threw down a stone the size of a large brick and it almost hit my wife, shattering on the ledge next to her and sounding like a gunshot. We yelled up to whoever it was that they should NOT throw rocks but I was furious that somebody nearly hit my wife. After Shawn lowered, I fashioned a weapon made of a gri-gri attached to 2 quick draws and ran around the cliff intending to bludgeon whoever threw the rock. When I got around to the top of the Trophy, whoever it was had left... dismayed by the disappearance of the perpetrators, I was left with a sinking feeling surrounding the thought that people tend to hurt others not out of malicious intent but rather out of commonplace thoughtless ignorance.
Below, Shawn grows impatient while waiting for me to mete out vengeance on the absent stone-thrower on the other side of the cliff.
"... Where is that muther ucker?"

Glen
Keep Your Powder Dry 5.12a - redpoint
The Trophy - 5.12b - incomplete/hangdog
Sharkwalk - 5.13a - hangdog/left behind a bail biner (more shame!)

Shawn
The Trophy - 3 tries incomplete (next time Gadget!)
Sharkwalk - incomplete

A##hole rock thrower
My wife - missed

Caliman - V7

2009-01-04T22:52:00.003-05:00

At last, I sent Caliman at the Kraft boulders. Prior to heading out to the boulders, I powered up with a bowl of linguini and buffalo meat (medium rare). Sadly, as I was alone, there's no video or photographic evidence, although there was one witness, a beginning climber named Va [sic?] who was working on the Pearl. He provided a crashpad and much welcomed encouragement. I found some different beta which was to cruise right on a thumb catch instead of bumping left to a razor sharp crimper, which has cut me in the past. I also skip the intermediates at the start and just do a ginormous deadpoint. There's only one person I know who knows what I'm talking about but there you have it: go ginormous and then cruise right. Dinner afterwards was baked trout.
Since I have no photos of the Caliman, I'll provide some recent unrelated photos...
Feather-like or UFO-like clouds.
Pilar on a 5.8 at the Conundrum Crags at Kraft.
Circumcised rock?

De gustibus non est disputandum.

2008-12-27T10:51:00.004-05:00

Christmas morning found us at Russ & Daughters on Houston. You go there if you want pretty good bagels with awesome cream cheese (I recommend scallion cream cheese) plus the best lox on the planet. Their lox is fresh and custom cut for you on site. We tried the salmon belly lox. It was like eating sushi. Damn, now I’ll never be able to go back to the prepackaged lox they sell in supermarkets.
If you do go, I’d warn you not to go on a holiday like Christmas where it’s the only thing open for blocks. They use a ticket machine and we stood there for an hour suffering through their service process which likely hasn’t changed since their founding in 1914. Basically, each person behind the counter does everything for your order. He takes it, prepares it, deals with your culinary foibles and indecisions, and then he acts as the cashier. This soup to nuts approach leads to you getting what you want but has the undesirable side effect of requiring you to wait an hour for your turn.
Above, Russ in gold frame (I'm assuming) continues to oversee his operations from his golden framed throne. It's ingeniously tilted downward to convey the sense of him looming over you.

It would be much more efficient, according to A, if they were to apply specialization, like having a dedicated cashier which would free up more time for the people behind the counter to concentrate on taking and preparing orders. Building upon that, I offered up the idea of using dwarves or midgets because you could fit more of them behind the counter. So instead of 5 guys, you could have 10 or 12 dwarves. And monkeys. Each dwarf could have a monkey on his shoulder which could retrieve jars and bottles from the tall shelves.

In sum, if Russ & Daughters were to adopt the B&H model (plus monkeys), we wouldn’t have to wait so f’in long. However, it’s part of the “new york” experience I guess… i.e. any quality or hip locale means waiting and dealing with a flock of other hip to the beat hipsters because you’re in New York- so of course there’s a mob of over-educated hyper-informed hep cats dressed in black just like you who know where the good stuff is!

Bellini.

2008-12-26T02:05:00.002-05:00

Visited my friend Mr. Diggler in Chatham, NJ again. Belgian Ale? Check. Stone Nudes Calendar? Check. Mohawk? Check. Italian semiautomatic 12 gauge shotgun with ammo belt? Check. It's a pretty rough neighborhood surrounded by towns like Short Hills and Summit, so I was glad we had some stopping power.

Nockamixon state park - Haycock Mountain

2008-12-22T17:49:00.003-05:00

It was a cold and wet Sunday in NJ and Masa's arms were hurting from climbing too much. What else was there to do but drive into Pennsylvania and hit up some diabase boulders? Above, M staying focused while piloting his Honda civic down 78W. Below, M continues his laser-like focus on Googy V5, an interesting and techy slopey slap problem that required faith in a left toe smear which most had trouble committing to. I believe in this photo M is using my beta of latching a pretty small crimp bump to sloper. The interesting feature to the right is a problem called Limp Dick V3, incase you're wondrin.
Below, a cute alternative to the traditional chalk ball. It also suited the area's name which was "Teddy Bear Picnic".
This fella below was a Upenn student from Japan who happened to speak catalan and spanish. I think he spent a lot of time in catalunya. It's funny who you meet in the middle of nowhere while intentionally seeking the hardest way up a large rock. We were also very fortunate to run into Paul and Justin, a pair of locals that knew the area so we wasted no time in the marshy unmarked maze. There's more photos and a video of Hematoma V3 at M's blog.

"Danger 2008"

2008-12-19T18:47:00.014-05:00

Las Vegas got snowed this week, it mostly fell on the West side and Red Rocks is now White Rocks, this time chalk can't be blamed for that. The aftermath of the storm was grandiose, for a photographer at least. For climbers it sucked, all the snow accumulated on top of the rocks has created a continuous cascade of water drippings, that will sip inside the sandstone and make it very fragile for awhile until it dries and is climbable again.

The Mirage casino in Vegas might have it's own man made volcano, but can they top this scene from the Red Rocks loop road?

By the way, this is still Glen's blog and not another blog with pretty pictures...we'll continue with the scheduled programming very soon.

Hungry Hummingbird (Or Another Intrusion Into The World Of A Cosmopolitan Climber)

2008-12-03T04:48:00.005-05:00

I was able to get this hummingbird on video this afternoon. It's a shy female, compared to the flashy red chested males which are very territorial and are not afraid of hovering right in front of your face like it happened to me yesterday. She comes very early in the day, every 5 to 10 minutes to feed on sugar water, and then on the late afternoon around sunset. It's even more fun to watch them fly away at the speed of sound, how do they do it?

(Now we have pushed the masturbation story way down).

This is what Red Rocks looks like in November

2008-12-02T03:34:00.000-05:00

Red Rocks, November 2008

Trophy II.

2008-11-28T14:18:00.004-05:00

We're definitely not doing the pyramid approach of sending a lot of 5.11s before embarking into 12-land. Hulk-like Shawn seems to be getting stronger by the minute so not sure he needs this. One evening, he confided in me the secret to his success: a steady regimen of beer and masturbation. And all the while I thought it was his 4x4s and sick campusing at the climbing gym!
Shawn finishing the first crux of The Trophy, a burly traverse through a roof.
Shawn after the roof, setting up for another crux, similar to the one on Keep your Powder dry, but harder. Stem, right hand on bad hold, dyno to flat block.

To wrap up: Congratulations to Shawn on his first 12a!! He will have to re-send for the cameras though. I was feeling lazy and didn't want to watch the show through an LCD screen so it was partially my fault there's no evidence of the historic moment. Of course a tripod would have solved that, but that would have required forethought and planning.

Day's summary:

JB
Coyote Moon 5.9 - Lead
Keep your Powder Dry 5.12a - incomplete

SM
Keep your Powder Dry 5.12a - Redpoint
The Trophy 5.12b - incomplete

PA
Coyote Moon 5.9 - TR

GT
Keep your Powder Dry 5.12a - incomplete
The Trophy 5.12b - incomplete

The Trophy.

2008-11-27T14:10:00.004-05:00

I like this pic Pilar snagged of John on Coyote Moon with the pine tree encasing said climber. It reminds me of those chinese nature paintings where the human figure is but a small background element of a much vaster and majestic Nature in the foreground. I also like the fact that John is employing a "toes in" approach to the slab, which is not only better technique than the novice "frog-legging", but more photogenic as well. When mentioning this to John, he scoffed at my half-baked climbing technique theories but was happy to look good for the lens.
Pilar on Coyote Moon 5.9. A fun route, but a little too easy for P-Money.

Clark Gable of the belay. He lounges about wearing the desert like his leisure suit, offering a safe yet silky belay to those willing to deposit their trust into his golden carabiner. Clark Gable's belay is a hard habit to break, just ask Shawn. Below is me on the crux of Keep your Powder Dry 12a.
Below, Shawn gets psyched for the Trophy with his trademark eccentricities: A little dancing and prancing, a pink windbreaker by Pierre Cardin (which he kept calling "Pierre Claire" for some unfathomable reason), all the while singing Madonna's "Express Yourself". The white man's ritual must have worked because he crushed the beginning overhanging traverse into the crux.

NYC cont'd.

2008-11-27T14:01:00.004-05:00

Why, indeed? An amusing piece of graffiti at the West 4th street station. Simple and to the existential point. Much more appealing than the usual expletives that find themselves scrawled in places of public transport. I was feeling contemplative, listening to Jonathan Richman sing about the moment being like bread - we gotta eat it now. Day old bread just won't do.
Finally went out of my way to satisfy the craving for Men Kui Tei. Sapporo, Nira Reba, and Tonkotsu Ramen were ingested. Forced to sit at the bar because it was typically crowded, I realized that the bar is how ramen is meant to be eaten. That thin sliver of an excuse for a table, with only enough room for a bowl of ramen and tiny manga comic book. And the one grumpy japanese man tossing hot oil and soy sauce into a wok burnt to a crisp surrounded by latinos of indeterminate origin (mexican? ecuadorian?) making the best ramen in NYC. The bar brings you closer to the steam and the action. The one thing that always takes me off guard is that they always serve the appetizer after the ramen. So you get your beer, then your ramen (entree), and then the appetizer.
Sunset at Newark airport.
Back in Vegas, it rains the day before Thanksgiving. The rain penetrated the office cubicle and starting dripping on my prematurely balding head. The water stain made an interesting pattern; a stark contrast to the man-made 90 degree angles of the ceiling structure and the vent.

NYC: Sachiko's

2008-11-21T19:02:00.003-05:00

The best sushi ever. Why?
- Sachiko herself
- two sushi chefs: middle aged japanese men with huge heads and huge hands. Fingers like D-batteries. Makes a nice contrast as these apparent cro magnons in chef attire apply the most delicate cutting and shaping of primo sushi.
- Original David Hockney photo montage of monks at the rock garden of ryoanji (i think) made by David for Sachiko.
- Outstanding service.
- Really important: presentation. It's all about presentation. I'm all about presentation (not my own self presentation though; I haven't had a haircut in ages.) Note in the photo the added touch of a red maple leaf. A far cry from the fake green plastic grass that accompanies lower and even middle tier sushi presentations. Additionally, the entire space informs the design of internal objects: a narrow and long space contains low and long tables, elongated windows, and a super wide David Hockney (2 x 6?) It's not Frank Lloyd Wright, but I believe he would approve.
- Temperature: the sushi seems to always be at the ideal temperature for maximum flavorliciousness. None of the warm and dry "i've been sitting out for awhile" or the super cold flavorless crap.
- Sapporo on draft and frosted mugs. So much better than the bottle. Could they be slipping msg into the beer? Or is msg just dispersed in aerosol form via the air conditioning so that as soon as you enter the restaurant, every inhale says "Delicious!" But seriously, Sachiko's would never stoop (i think) to msg ... which usually gives me a pounding hammer headache.

The Phalanx of Will.

2008-11-18T19:42:00.004-05:00

One day Shawn calls up. "Let's go to Dutchman's Draw. There's a limestone tower in the middle of nowhere. I can't find it on google earth or google maps. It should be cool." The next morning we depart in search of a four-sided pillar of limestone located in Arizona by way of Nevada, Arizona, Utah and then back into Arizona. Shawn navigated flawlessly even as we entered an hour's worth of off-roading through a wash in the first off-road test of my 2001 Toyota 4runner. It performed admirably; if I only had a one inch lift, I think I could have exited unscathed. As it stands, I dented my bumpers, scraped the under carriage, chipped some paint, and smashed the light covers embedded in my front bumper. Above is a view of the 4runner from the cliff (taken from the first anchors.)
Professional "chert climber" Shawn cleaning the first pitch of a two pitch 5.11 "chert" climb. This shaded wall was covered in fragile chert, which is some sort of red/brown layer in the limestone. Each of us broke holds with hands and feet. Side pulls snapped off. Jibs disintegrated. It was like climbing on ceramic. There was a huge bulge we had to maneuver and it was completely hollow. A mere fart would have sufficed to dislodge it.
Above, the Phalanx of Will strikingly protrudes from a hill above the wash. The golden side you see facing the wash contained the hard stuff, starting at 5.12. We tried a gently overhanging 5.12c that followed a beautiful crack. Almost perfect except for the crumbling footholds and everything being covered by thin film of sandy dust.
On the way out, Shawn declined to drive. "I assume responsiblity when I drive other people's cars." I suppose nothing less was to be expected from somebody who refuses to cheat at the stein holding contest at the Hofbrauhaus. On the way home, this honest fellow was driven crazy by the music on my zen stone. "It sounds like it was made by trolls in a cave." Not sure that's how I would describe Gram Parsons, Chet Atkins, or Nina Simone, but everybody is entitled to their own brand of madness. Finally, Gloria Estefan danced her way into our car via the fm radio just in time to sooth the raging Shawn in dire need of 80s pop music.
Not sure if we'll be back soon... just not worth it because of the 1.5 hr drive from Vegas + 1 hr of slow off roading + the drive back listening to my "troll music." I think it would be great for a solid 5.13 climber (which neither of us are) but if you're struggling on 12s I would think twice on the trek. If you go, leave early to give yourself time because you don't want to exit in the dark.

Tradish.

2008-11-07T23:42:00.009-05:00

Once a year my friend Andrei shows up from NJ and invites me to take long walks into canyons and artfully place shiny metal objects into the rock wall.Above, Andrei sits before an inviting canyon and a dissipating rain cloud. Day 1 - First Creek Canyon: Romper Room Area: Doobie Dance 90' 5.6. I led this to a bolted anchor. Andrei was quite ill and vomited several times on the approach. An inauspicious start...
Day 2 - Pine Creek Canyon: Spectrum Area: Birdland 560' 5.7+. 6 pitches. Andrei led all but Pitch 3, which I led. All anchors were bolted, which made for a much quicker ascent/descent. Except for the fact that there were 3 parties ahead of us. So we ended up waiting at the several anchors for parties to rap through. We were the last party on the route and exited in the dark. At the parking lot, a rescue helicopter was busy fetching lost hikers from the back of the canyon. Day 3 - White Rock Springs: Angel Food Wall: Group Therapy 755' 5.7+ 7 pitches. Ben the mountain goat showed up and gunned most of the route for us in his approach shoes.Ah, the joy of rope management.
Trust your life to any one of these biners. I did. My single brown Black Diamond positron screwgate can be seen way at the bottom center.
Below you can see 1. a trad climber 2. Turtlehead peak 3. the trail into the canyon from the parking lot. It's hard to show scale with a small digital point and click.

Can't stay away from Mary Jane.

2008-11-01T10:30:00.005-05:00

We found ourselves on a tired Sunday morning wanting to take it easy. So MJ at Charleston it was. We all took turns on Pine in the Ass 5.10b. The above photo is me on the crimps right after the crux. Best part of the climb.
Pilar "P-Money" grappling with the crux.
Above, Shawn making it look easy.
You know Shawn is strong (suffers from burlyitis*), but did you know he's also 50 ft tall? Above, Shawn about to eat a lilliputian climber.
After imbibing aforementioned climber, Shawn, like Alice in Wonderland, took on tiny proportions himself. Above he looks a little bewildered by his newfound stature.

*The ability to pull super-hard moves while contemplating totem animals.

The Gun Club.

2008-10-27T20:39:00.004-05:00

So Shawn "Sparmaster" and I made our way to "The Gun Club" at the La Madre South area. It's a mere 12 minutes from where Sparmaster resides and the approach is 5 minutes from the parking lot. The easy access also appeals to local hooligans who have littered the entire approach with broken budweiser bottles, beer cans of various everyman brands like Milwaukee's Best, and other sundry items like street signs riddled with bullet holes. Below, Sparmaster regales us with his "Hey Ladies" look. Personally, I'm not sure if he thinks he's going rock climbing or to do some calisthenics with Richard Simmons.
We warmed up on Skeet Surfin' 5.10d and then we tried Marksman 5.12b. On Marksman the 3rd clip was 8-10 feet above the 2nd clip with small crimps so that gave us some pause. Sparmaster used the clip and grab the draw trick, which was wise to avoid him landing on my head. I need to employ that more often on face climbs to avoid cartiledge crushing whips into the wall. Anyway, as I was manuevering the crimpy 3rd bolt crux, I heard a muddy tearing sound in my left shoulder, which I've heard before only in my right. F*ck. My 33 year old cartiledge or connective tissue just ain't what it use to be. Instead of drinking Grimbergen belgian ale after climbing, I should probably get a therapeutic massage. We then moved on to some unnamed 5.6 slab/book climb after Sparmaster decided that Pot Shot 5.11d was not worth the candle.

We finished by crossing the canyon wash to try Muzzle Loader 5.12a. I led it with two breaks, one in the middle crux, and several at the top. No individual move was hard at all and the feet were great. The route seemed beta intensive but that's no excuse; I really need to improve my ability to read the route/onsight. Very fun route that I want to try again... in fact not sure it's 5.12a, or I'm misreading the guidebook, which is very likely. I usually just pass the guidebook to Sparmaster because I'm incapable of mapping the author's hand drawn diagrams to actual features in the rock.

Sparmaster must have a higher IQ or something. For example, he knew about "totem animals" and claimed to be at first an echidna (an australian animal with a four-headed penis), and then an ibex. I said it was cheating if you called your own totem animal; it should be a given designation or else it would be an untruthful anthropomorphism of your idealized self. He would have none of it; ibex it was because they headbutt atop treacherous cliffs. But, would an ibex grab a draw? I think not. Echidna it is. And based on this youtube video they would definitely grab a draw. To be fair, for the record, I've never grabbed a draw, but I think I might start. Chris Lindner advocated it in the last Urban Climber magazine, so it must be the cool thing to do.

Perplexed by the guidebook.

The below photo of Sparmaster suspended between bolted limestone and housing developments provides commentary on Las Vegas. Note the pointing in two directions (one towards the housing development and the other towards the cliff) signifying the eternal struggle in the western world between civilization and nature. Light versus Darknesss. The squares vs the hippies. The bulldozer versus the mountain. The verticals vs. the horizontals. Prickles vs. Goo... According to a local bearded sage, John B, Sparmaster is levitating in a magnetic spectrum (I don't know what that means either, but it sounded good.) The choice is simple, says the Sparmaster: Choose between your housing developments or chaotic, unfurling and uncompromising nature. Or is he secretly acknowledging the unity betwixt the two? For without the housing, he would not be there, hanging suspended for all eternity on the internet.

Victoria meets Kraft.

2008-10-26T10:36:00.002-05:00

Scott and Nicola from B.C. Canada were in town so I escorted them from the Flamingo Hotel and Casino where they were staying to Kraft Boulders for some crimpy dynamic fun-stuff, which they consequently crushed. They are two strong and motivated boulderers that live on an island in B.C. I met them last Christmas at Bishop. Note that if you're bouldering in Bishop during Christmas in sub-zero temperatures, I automatically place you in my "Excellent Persons" file. We warmed up on the 30-40 ft 5.9 chimney at Plumber's crack. Then Potato Chips V2 for more warming up... The Pearl V4 went down with a flash by Scott (!) and Nicola sent second try. Scott then flashed Jenna's Jewelry V4 dyno and sent Caliman V7 with relative ease.

We then moved to Classic Monkey V6 at the Monkey Bars boulder. At that moment, the Pilar-Unit made a surprise appearance with her digital SLR. I think Pilar got some nice shots with the sun setting allowing for some high contrast polarization. I'll have to make a point of bouldering only at 3pm, or when the sun is at that certain shadow-producing angle.

Deadpoint to the jug... I missed it and ended up on a sloper for three fingers instead.

On our exit lap, Scott and I tried the Angel Dyno V7. No luck.

I took one of my patented wild helicopter-spins off the gaston and Scott saved my ass by literally catching me as my aforementioned ass plummeted to the earth like a hell-bent steroid. Mental note: Ensure presence of 6ft tall skillful spotter that outweighs you by 30-40 lbs. when doing a ridiculous dyno.

Donkey Punch V4 offered the day's finale.

Glock whipped.

2008-10-20T17:54:00.003-05:00

So I was back in the my favorite state of mind, the Garden State of mind, visiting my friend, who I'll refer to as "The Diggler", in Chatham. Now, "The Diggler" recently started to question the stability of the future as the stock market started tumbling. What would the collapse of the financial structure imply? Hungry, desperate denizens of a failed republic... clawing at the windows because they know you have a gallon of gas stashed under your bed next to your last three and a half rations the emergency provisional government handed out. And your Wii... yes, the one you waited in line for all those early morning hours! Why, if they knew you were keeping one of those devices from them! Clearly, one has got to defend oneself. But how? Why, obviously, with an Austrian-built 9mm semi-automatic and 1,000 rounds of ammo! One in the head and two in the chest (1000/3 = 333.3 zombies)! Take that you commie bastards!

OK, that's probably not how it went down in "The Diggler"'s mind, but I think my version of "The Diggler"'s thought process is likely the more entertaining version. Besides, the end result was the same. I'm standing in his kitchen, having a Smutty Nose Oatmeal ale with hummus, and there it is on the counter...
Cold, Austrian steel. Simple and reliable. I guess we won't be arguing about politics anymore. "The Diggler" is now officially always right.

Driving to Mt. Charleston.

2008-10-07T10:52:00.003-05:00

Another normal Saturday heading up to the Compton Cave...

We planned on making a short tripumentary but our camera batteries died shortly after the seatbelt-bound pelvic thrustifications.

Back at Santa Barbara, at The Brickyard.

2008-09-08T00:50:00.006-05:00

A forest fire tore through this place last year I think. So all the shrubs were burnt to a cinder. The entire area was covered in a fine powdery sand mixed with black ash. Pilar feared the ash powder we stirred up would be carcinogenic. I'm not sure about that, but it did feel like we were walking around inside a used fireplace. Incidentally, Skip discovered a melted beer bottle, no doubt the glass buckled under the heat of the blaze.
Above is The Extremist V1 - onsight/warmup. I tweaked my left tricep on this silliness. So much for the warmup. It's tall with slopers at the top. That's nice - you can't take anything for granted until you top out.

"See you at the Schoolyard, Meat" V5 - failure. I couldn't do the first move, which is to slap a font-like sloper from a couple of crimps. At least that's what seemed like the first move. I could very well have been using bad beta. It's been known to happen. God friggin dammit! What is it about V5? I can't send them. I can do 4, 6, and even a 7 if I get a good night's sleep, 4 shots of espresso, and there's a dozen shucked oysters at the top of the problem. But V5? nope. And the rock looked so beautiful too.

Yeti V4 - redpoint. This took 4 tries and 2 falls from the crux mantel on slopers. Despite my cat-like landings, both my knees and ankles are still in a mild pain. The top of the problem is sort of scary because there are no gimmes up there. I think it was around 15 ft tall. The best thing to do is pull up and turn your right hand into a palm and push for dear life. No more working an unknown boulder problem without a crashpad. In sum, this area is quite amazing. It's like a little piece of Fontainebleau just outside of a posh beach town. I am grateful to Pilar, Marlene, and Skip for their patience. While I was busy feeding my climbing addiction, they suffered heat, dust, and swarms of black flies that created a veritable buzzing helmet around one's noggin while trying to enter any available orifice. Also Thanks to Pilar for the photos above; they are much better than what I take with my point and shoot.

Hollywood or bust.

2008-09-08T00:28:00.002-05:00

Saturday morning we left Santa Barbara to pick up my sister's boyfriend Skip from LAX. On Highway 101 somewhere past Ventura, our left tire exploded. Awesome.
Afterwards, the spare tire we used went flat immediately. Fortunately we were close to the next exit where we found a Tireman tire shop and were merrily on our way within an hour. Soon thereafter we found ourselves on Hollywood Blvd with Spiderman ready to pounce from his perch atop a garbage can. Pilar looks to be protecting her camera from the webslinger. Awesomer.
Below we get a shot with Superman and Wonderwoman. Superman was looking a little frail; I think Wonderwoman took all his muscles and stuffed them into her bra. Awesomerer.
And finally, the best outfit of all. The guy on the right had a white hat tipped at an improbable angle, a cup of coffee, a 3 foot long purple balloon coming out of his pants, and even a cigarette behind his ear... Awesomest! I hope he went over and cock whipped that Superman impostor.

Santa Barbara, CA.

2008-09-06T22:32:00.003-05:00

Arriving at Painted Cave roadside boulders in my sister's '91 Chrysler Le Baron convertible replete with Mitsubishi V6. Tight. Below is Heavy Traffic V3 on sandstone. Nice slopey top out. Not bad for roadside bouldering.

Sunset from the top of the boulders.

Mt. Charleston, The Equalizer.

2008-09-02T08:41:00.003-05:00

So Shawn and I went on a climbing tear this Labor Day weekend.

Charleston on Saturday: 5.9 warmup before trying The Equalizer 5.13a. It's a mildly overhung route at the left entrance to the Compton Cave. The guidebook notes it as a "great tendon-wrecker of a route." Shawn immediately developed a liking for the route. This liking then mated with his laser-like goal oriented focus (how else could he be one of the chosen few to Teach For America?) to become his obsession, pushing Wailing Soul into the background. So Saturday Shawn worked out most of the moves to the 5th bolt. All of the moves are consistently demanding on small divets for feet with big moves and burly crosses through bi- or mono-pockets. Fortunately, some of those pockets are 2 knuckles deep. I then took a stab at Straight Outta Compton 5.12d but with little gas left after wrecking my tendons on The Equalizer. So SOC smacked me down at the third bolt.

Sunday morning we headed to Cannibal Crag at Red Springs, which I wrote about in my last post.

Yesterday, Monday, we returned to Charleston, Shawn with only one thing on his mind, and it wasn't girls. We warmed up on a 5.11ish slab thing that had zero good hand holds. Then The Equalizer beckoned. It's called The Equalizer because it puts the musclebound boys in their place while girls are able to capitalize on smaller fingers and better technique to send. This time Shawn deciphered the crux move twice, making it look easier than a V0. I could not for the life of me fathom the move. However, after hang-dogging to the 5 bolt, I was able to use Joe Brooks' advice about a blind foot switch while hanging on to a left pinch and right gaston, followed by a big right cross to a sloper. Unfortunately neither of us had the power endurance to link more than a few moves. So it's training time. Also, mental note: if it's less than mid 90s F in Las Vegas, it's pretty cool up at Compton, so bring something warm. A lot of climbers there actually wear down jackets while belaying. Shawn and I just had microfleece things and we were shivering.

Shawn working The Equalizer.

Maneater 5.12a.

2008-09-01T09:09:00.002-05:00

The morning started auspiciously when the Starbuck's on Buffalo gave me a complimentary espresso shot to power up my triple to a quadruple. Plus I got a coupon for a "free iced latte after 2pm good at any Starbucks." I wanted to ask, "What the hell is an iced latte?" and add, "Who would want one after 2pm?!" but there was no time for Starbuck Shenanigans. We had to race against time, heat, and golden Apollo himself.

It's only 4 bolts but I'll take it. Shawn magnanimously hung the draws but I'll take it. It's therefore a pinkpoint, but I'll take it... at last, the mystical 5.12 (7a+)! I've been climbing for 7 years, so this is sort of breakthrough. Granted, it could have been a freak occurence... I haven't done any 5.11ds, and Red Rocks is known for its "hero" ratings.

Maneater gently overhangs the entire time and is peppered by incut crimps with exceptional feet, minus the crux move, where for a moment the left hand crimper is not so good (no incut) and the right foot is not as solid as one would like, so it elicited a vocal commitment. Thanks also to Shawn's encouragement, which helped a bunch because I was sort of out of it, especially after the crux move where you can easily take the final moves for granted and blow it if you're overzealous. I used my old Tenaya laceups from Spain (masai I think), which are uncannily precise if you pay attention to their placement.

In any event, I think this is the last sport climbing video I post because they are amazingly boring using a digital camera placed on a rock 50-100 ft away. It was an experiment in anti-climbing porn. No hip hop soundtrack, no closeups, no zooming or panning or crabbing or adobe after-effects on a mac. No nothin'. I was thinking Godard or Warhol, or a chinese painting where the human subject is subsumed by surrounding nature; but instead it's merely dull. Porn wins.

Robbers' Roost.

2008-08-18T09:16:00.003-05:00

Yesterday John and I visited Robbers' Roost at Mt. Charleston. It was John's first time there. We had the entire crag to ourselves. Almost. A relatively constant stream of day trippers with their children caused no little amusement. One fat kid wearing a t-shirt the size of a bed sheet offered to climb into a small cave for $5. His mother said, "I'll give you $30 if you do it!" implying he couldn't because he was too fat. Then there was the 8 year old with a 50 year old he addressed as "Steven". He kept saying "Steven" this and "Steven" that and we thought he was yelling to his little brother or something; nope. He had no little companion- he was addressing his father/uncle/friend? But then John thought, "Why not? Why can't 50 year old men be friends with 8 year old boys?" I agreed, but a puritanical and by logical extension a perverted and paranoid society would disapprove. This was followed by the father who lit up a joint once his kids were busy scrambling on rocks. All in all, a pretty fine day. Below is a photo of some route that I guess was around 5.10. I can't seem to match the routes here to any topo or guidebook. It's one of my weakest climbing skills. The book could describe the route hold by hold, and I still wouldn't be able to identify it.
Below John demonstrates his magical no-hands belay technique. On the drive up, John ate 4 fried chicken wings purchased from Albertson's supermarket for $3.49 and tossed the bones out the window at various picturesque intervals on Route 157, to no small delight. This is completely irrelevant to anything; but I felt that the event merited recording.
Below, King John the Mohawk King holds court at Osaka Japanese restaurant. He won a $25 wager with Pilar that the caucasian american waitress spoke Japanese, by the way she corrected my abysmal pronunciation of nigiri sushi pieces. Turns out the waitress lived in Japan for a year.

Birthday at Bouchon.

2008-08-16T12:07:00.005-05:00

Pilar's birthday found us at Bouchon, Thomas Keller's french restaurant in The Venetian casino and hotel. The food, atmosphere, and service approximated perfection. Instead of wine, we accompanied our meal with 3 Vesper martinis (Boodles gin, vodka, Lillet Blanc, twist). I say "approximated perfection" because the third martini had ice crystals in it. Perhaps to be expected since James Bond did say it should be "shaken, not stirred." To start, we were served the best baked bread I've had outside of Europe, with salted butter. Why can't Americans get good bread? why is good bread here a rare delicacy when the French can just walk into any bakery and get wheaty kneaded heavenly goodness?
Then followed the appetizers: we received a complimentary plate of carpaccio with bread and goat cheese, rabbit with diced plum, and olives. Our main course was roast leg of lamb and beef short ribs.
Presentation was king, and each dish was softly understated, with masterfully hidden surprises. For example, the lamb was on a bed of finely diced and sauteed sweet peppers and arugula, and underneath that, unseen at first was a small bed of toasted bread a centimeter thin that soaked in the au jus and all the other savory delectability.
They even provided a birthday platter with a single candle mounted on the plate with its own wax.
Afterwards, we sampled the uber gaudy mockery of Venice, strangely interesting in its own grotesque way, the way things are in Las Vegas. A frighteningly impressive fake sky that messes with your sense of the time of day is combined with singing gondoliers. Seeing these unrivalled feats of bad taste always reminds me of a psychological map of the American culture- A blissfully and willfully ignorant disneyfied fantasy of stereotypes. This is where American adults go to be mesmerized like children doped up on anti-depressants.
On the way out, a gigantic moth, which i'll refer to as Mothra, was trapped in the hallway that led to the parking garage. For some reason, Mothra landed on Pilar's skirt, and once there, decided it didn't want to flutter about anymore while banging its head against the swinging glass doors. I think Mothra sensed that Pilar was not like the others (others being the visiting tourists gawking and freaking out and thinking Mothra was a bat.) Mothra clung to Pilar's skirt down the hallway, and even into the elevator. I guess it wanted to get the hell out of there as well!