Dark Shadows.

Dark Shadows - Pine Creek (I think)

P1 5.5 John:

The climb starts out above a creek on a very nice slab with thin holds and a couple of bolts.  John did exceptionally well.

A wider view of John on P1.
P2 5.5 Glen
P3 5.8 Glen
P4 5.8 Glen

I think this is me on P4.

J at the anchor at end of P4.

While waiting for our turn on this classic route, the first party dropped two cams somewhere during or after P4, in quick succession. One of them was the gold camalot, which bounced and then plunged into the creek at the base of the climb. After the second scream of "Rock!!!" a crew of philly climbers yelled back up, "What the f***??!!" They fished out the camalot and left it for the party who by then decided to back off the upper pitches of Dark Shadows.  Here we attempt to use a large branch to fish it out of the ice cold water.

 The party that dropped the gear came down, and we told them the cam bounced, implying that we'd never climb on such gear, and they shrugged and said, "Thanks, we'll get it looked at."

P2 was harder than the guidebook's 5.5. I nearly ate it using my approach shoes. P3 is the "money" pitch, and very photogenic. We didn't have doubles for our party of three, so we used two 60m sport ropes (10mm and 10.3mm). Well, I'll never do that again! They were heavy as hell, and not as smooth as real doubles.

On the last rope pull after rapping from P1, the ropes fall into the creek at the base of the climb. You can't avoid it. Everybody with the exception of two old timers spent an inordinate amount of time devising schemes to keep their ropes dry. Best scheme I heard was from Ben who suggested tying a shoe to one end of the rope and throwing it past the creek from the last rap station. The best realistic proposal was to let Dark Shadows be the last climb of the day so your rope could dry overnight.

Exchange of the day ( I think this was on a 5.11 trad climb next to dark shadows)
Climber 1: "I don't know... that looks hard."
Climber 2 on lead reply: "It's ok, I'm strong."

Carriage Path.

Bouldering with M and E of NJR on a nice carriage path day. Finally sent two classics that had eluded me for years. Here's a video of us trying Gill Egg.


Gill Egg - V4 from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Here's a vid of me on Black Boulder.


Black Boulder - V5 from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Taming of the Crew.

Bouldering crew, that is.


Scene I. Triple Right, a dank forest dwelling swelling with black flies and mosquitoes.
     [Enter King Matt, Lord Mark, Squire Jeff and sundry barons and such from New Jersey.]

King Matt: Use your feet! Push!
     [Gym Rat Boulderer struggles, falters. Whimpering.]
King Matt: Do something!
     [Gym Rat Boulderer falls.]
King Matt: How's that workin' fer ya??

Mark on a V4 called Captain Blowhard or something.  It has surprisingly nice movement, and is even a little long.  Atypical for the area.  The top out is notorious for creating beached whales.

L on the same.

Here's King Matt leaping towards the downclimb.  "Pretty Spry for an old guy," pronounceth the King.  One of the young guns from NJR looks on in amazement as a flash of techwick old enough to be his father bounds overhead.

I sent some stuff, but don't know the grades.  I think a V4/V5 by the initial warmup slab, then a V2/V3 on the arete with the spiffy undercling which I didn't use, and finally "Gillette" V6 over by Didactic Tactics and Captain Blowhard.  All names and grades are open to change; all I know is that it's a long walk and you better bring gallons of DEET.

Dabbawalla.

The balance has been off. I started leaving the camera at home since I seem to climb more without it. Also when most of your time is bouldering alone or sport climbing with one partner, its tricky to get good shots*. P is a gifted photographer, but when we go out climbing, the results often consist of a couple of butt shots embedded in a slew of cactii closeups. In the meantime, here's a video of my friend Tim (the Dabbawalla) sending Caliman V7 at Kraft Boulders. It's better than the one of myself because you can see the overhang better. Note JB's action with the pads to avoid the dabbage.

Tim on Caliman V7 from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

*However, this might be a good excuse to purchase a new comfier harness that I can spend extended amounts of time in to obtain good sport climbing shots.

Monkeys.

Not sure why people need such large tick-marks, especially in the form of a smiley face, when the hold itself is already saturated with chalk. The above photo was from Monkey Bars boulder in Kraft. C'mon! If you find yourself needing a tick mark visible from 30 feet away, wouldn't it be better to just apply climbing tape? Go ahead and apply a huge strip of lime green tape to the hold. Then, when you're done with your fluorescent aided sendage, at least you can remove the tape from the boulder and leave it as you found it. Could it be that people try so hard they can't see the holds unless it's dramatically marked, or is it gym rats transporting the gym to the outdoors?

Anywho, list of week's problems sent:

Wed - Red Springs
Monkey Wrench - V6
St. Louis - V4 (repeat)
It's On - V4 (repeat)

Thurs - Kraft
Monkey Traverse - V7

Sat - Kraft
Monkey Direct - V8
Slopey Traverse - V6 (repeat)

I am unsure of the grades and probably got lucky with good conditions and positively psyched partners. Sorry no pix or vids b/c i only had one spotter, and sends were usually in poor light right around sunset. Monkey Direct is my first "v8" but word is that it's soft. Since I can't do v4 in the gunks or jtree, probably best to consider everything i've ever sent as V3. Either that or I have an affinity for boulder problems that contain the word "monkey".

John's first time.

"Show me the boulders!"...

"Show me the chicken pot pie!"

"Show me the Bowling Pin (V4)!"

P's two dawgs.

"I am the king!  Follow me!"

Bishop.

For President's Day weekend, Stanley,

JB & Othello,
P,
and I went to one of the bestest places on the planet: Bishop.

The first night we stayed in a poisonous hotel:

The trip went like this:

Day 1:

Sent the Hulk at the Happy Boulders. I first copied what everybody else was doing (as always) and just worked the crux move a couple of times. It really is all about the toe hook. I was thinking about how to set a similar problem in the gym and concluded that the angles involved would make it quite difficult. Here's JB spotting me and adroitly helping me avoid a "dab".

After dinner, we get lost on the way to some god-forsaken hot spring and get the car stuck in a pond. 2 highway patrol officers, 2 hours standing in the cold, and a $225 tow truck bill later, we are back in the hotel getting wasted to forget the entire ordeal ever even happened.

Day 2:

Morning espressos at Black Sheep. Don't do it! Their "double" espresso was a more like a single droplet of sour tasting foulness. The bookstore in front is pretty cool though. Then speed over to the Buttermilks which was a zoo, albeit a nice, tame, quiet zoo. No boomboxes, crying babies, or worse, those portable speakers attached to them ipod doohickeys all the youngsters have playing trance or some other silly genre of popular music.

After sending the Bowling Pin, I get schooled on High Plains Drifter. The snow patch in the pix below was melting in the sun, and water was dripping down onto some of the holds. It didn't matter though. It just felt damn hard.

Reaching for sidepull.

Gaining the sloper... is this the "drifter" move? I can't figure it out.
Another attempt to grab the sloper.
Then proceed to Las Palmas for margaritas and beer, the same place that nearly killed P via dirty vegetable burrito bomb several years ago.

Day 3

Race back to the Buttermilks to bag High Plains Drifter before the hotel checkout. While there, I untethered Othello and he ran off, thereby making me "that guy", better known as the douchebag that lets his dog run amok at a climbing area. While Othello was gone, I got to the first jug at the top of HPD and floundered, popping off like a confused fish out of water. I ended up kicking my spotter JB in the face and possibly breaking his nose and lip. Othello then decides to show up, so I tie his ass up, meditate, and then send HPD. It's a beautiful problem on great holds.

Results:

Sends:
Hulk v6

Bowling pin v4

Buttermilk stem SDS v4

High Plains Drifter v7

Fail:

Soul slinger v9

Every color you are v6

Jtree.

So happy to be in Jtree again.

Driving through the Mojave National Preserve, we encountered the above paragon of american culture: A speed limit sign riddled with bullet holes, replete with interesting sticker. The symbolism could easily fill several pompous essays. I personally just enjoy the sunlight shining through the projectile-induced perforations.

So it was just me and RV "Superrovanova". She recently started climbing indoors in NYC and enjoys bouldering, so why not introduce her to some of the stiffest boulders in the southwest? I mean, I can do a v7 at red rocks or the gunks if I'm lucky, and I can't even do a v0 friction slab at jtree. Anyway, I think it worked. When RV returned to NYC, her outdoor exposure lent her a new perspective on indoor climbing. She immediately ceased being intimidated by phony indoor grades once she realized she was climbing in a totally safe multi-colored foam padded loony bin where all the holds are friendlier than the friendliest that Red Rock has to offer.

RV meets a martian friend of similar stature.

Monzonite granite vs. RV's skin.

Somebody working The Chube V2.

RV on a 5.6 slab by Barker Dam entrance. A group of tourists walked by and exclaimed, "She's not hooked in!"

Slam Dunk V3 in hidden valley. This cost me 5 or 6 attempts, plus a smashed right toe as I idiotically swung my feet into the wall.

Slam Dunk V3. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Caliman - V7

Caliman - V7 from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

I did this once before about a year ago and couldn't repeat it. Today, I did it twice. I'm not sure it's V7 anymore. I couldn't do V5 in the gunks, so I'm downgrading this in my personal book to V4 max.

Absurd.

This short video sums up our foray into frozenness. If you go now, this is what you can expect. It's all yours with no crowds. If you happen to see me there, just shoot me and put me out of my misery.

Thick. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Gunks carriage road. 18F.

Yeah, so M and I were the only ones psychotic enough to boulder outside yesterday. The usually friendly approach from the unusually empty Trapps parking lot was converted into a treacherous ice slide. We slipped and fell a couple times but were protected by eskimo-like layers of clothing and crash pads. At least we didn't have to pay the usual $15 fee since the ranger was not loony enough to leave the comfort of his living room. Of course, for the amount of misery we endured, we should have been paid. Just kidding - being married and working for a paycheck have already killed me so I don't feel a thing. Ok, just kidding again - marriage is a wonderful institution and scratching for your meat is, by most people's definitions, a good thing.

We started with the Lorax V4. I don't know if the hand-jam is off on this contrived piece of scheisse. Knowing the gunks, it probably is. I then tried New Pair of Glasses V7. Hands and toes froze after the first move. I didn't realize that numb toes could actually be worse than numb hands. Masa then did the Gill Pinch roof V4 and I tried White boys and Puerto Ricans V7. Suffice to say, my meager breakfast of a slice of pumpkin pie and an espresso from the Muddy Cup in town was not fueling the success I fantasized about.

We then shifted our focus to the Black Boulder V3. Our frozen asses and diminishing core strength did not help us on what is considered a "classic" on the east coast. Also, the Sportiva Cobras aren't the best heel-hooking hardware, as Matt S confirmed afterwards.

After 6 hours in sub-zero temperatures on overrated boulders, we retired to Bacchus for their overrated beer selection and non-existent service. Matt was right: "Never go there when you're hungry. You will starve to death." (waiting for service).

The highlight of the day, besides not being in a chalk filled gym with nauseating music (except for NJR when Matt plugs his mp3 player in), was finding the Crystal Sword, or "Icecalibur"*. I think it was by Key Hole Crack. There was a frozen waterfall with huge icicles, and we discovered one that perfectly resembled a sword, replete with bulbous handle, hilt, and proportional taper. Yeah, that sounds embarrasingly phallic and i sound like a geek/dork** raised on Luke Skywalker. Sadly, both are true.

After being frozen, bruised, and battered, I drove back to NJ and was greeted by a blizzard white-out. Couldn't get the car up the driveway and had to shovel the 2 feet of snowdrift out of the 20 foot incline at midnight. Why do so many people live in this god-forsaken state? Suffice to say, my neck feels like whiplash and my back and trapezius feel like fifty angry ninjas wailed on them with rusty dung-covered garden tools. My soul and body are now unified.

*Heather L gets credit for that one.

**I always forget the difference.

Slopey traverse again.

I sent this for the first time last year but have not been able to repeat it since then. So I decided to film myself, thinking I'd learn about my climbing mistakes. Instead I learned about the unconscious gestures that overwhelm me and I grew instantly embarrassed. Talk about narcissistic!

Slopey Traverse V6. from Hotel Sierra on Vimeo.

Yellow card:

• Stripping
• Talking to self
• No onsight
• Lens flare
• Crashpad visible

Red Card:

• Dressing (sort of)
• Ass-dragger problem
• only V6
• silly hat + bareback
• Filming self

MIA:

• Punk rock music soundtrack
• Screaming

Additional punishment for Red Card offenders may include, but is not limited to, rear naked chokes, donkey punches, and other forms of humiliation not to be tried at home.